tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8611088759081940702024-03-13T15:35:50.324+01:00Somebody's DadMy thoughts about being a man, a husband, and most importantly about being somebody's dad.J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.comBlogger83125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-88482557428078935412020-04-18T18:39:00.000+02:002020-04-18T18:39:29.359+02:00Learning About Love and Loss<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">In the past few years, there have been several things that fueled the balanced development of my son’s emotions. We do our best to encourage disciplined thought, but not detachment from the joys and pain that come with living. I suppose as parents we don’t really know how we’re doing until our kids have matured and we see how they deal with various situations in life. In Paul’s case, there have been events that highlight to me how he’s developing a strong emotional balance, and a kind heart. First a real-world event, then I’ll share his reaction to scenes from two movies.</span></div>
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Until we bought the two Corgis we currently own, every dog Steph and I have had in the years we’ve been married have been rescues. Jazz was an odd mutt with a strong personality. She was never mean to Paul, but she never really liked him. We’re not completely sure why, because she was also legitimately protective of him if she felt someone or something was a threat. Overall, she preferred for him to just leave her alone. We rescued Jazz from a vet, where she was abandoned along with several other puppies from the same litter. As Paul got older, it troubled him that Jazz didn’t really care for his company. He did his best not to irritate her, and was fantastic at accepting it was best that he just pet her when she’d tolerate it. She had no patience at all when he’d try to snuggle her. As she got older, she got grumpier. Late in life she contracted cancer and finally the time came that we needed to end her suffering. We set the appointment with the vet, leaving time to allow Paul to say goodbye to her at home. While we gave him the option to come along, it didn’t surprise us he preferred not to. The time came for him to say goodbye, and our hearts were warmed that she let him sit down on the floor with her, give her very warm, big and gentle hugs—he all but held her in his arms—and then he spoke quietly and calmly to her. His words broke our hearts. Tears quietly ran down his cheeks and after several kisses and hugs, he whispered: “Dream of me, and walk with me in your dreams.” Steph and I were wrecked at his poise and maturity, and the love he continued to show a dog that didn’t really love him. He sent her off well, and we couldn’t have been prouder of him.</div>
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In 2012 we took Paul to see the movie “Rise of the Guardians”. We’re not sure, but we think he still believed in most of the magical “guardians” that surround childhood—Santa, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, etc. This movie was about the spirit behind these stories, and put a cool perspective on what kids can learn from them, by gently reenforcing that what they represent continues on with those who believe. Meanwhile, those who quit believing may very well also lose an appreciation for what the actual point was—caring, giving, etc. At the time Paul saw the movie, he was having periodic nightmares. As kids do, he would wake up afraid, then need to seek out Stephanie and I to quiet his nerves and remind him the nightmares aren’t real. A big part of the storyline of the movie revolved around the rational and confident defeat of nightmares. This spoke loudly to Paul and convinced him he needed to continue to believe in the positive aspects of these characters, and to purpose not to fear the bad dreams that come from uncertainty and an active imagination.<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">At the end of the move, we asked him what he thought. Paul said, “Some tears were shed because now I know they (the Guardians) will always be in my heart.” There were a few tears during the movie, and he was right on the edge of tears when he said that. The message of the movie had a real impact on him and I think it surprised him how empowered he felt to know he is in control. It was all him. He told us a little later they were happy tears because he knew that as long as he believes, the Guardians will always be in his heart. </span></div>
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Then just recently we let Paul watch the western Tombstone with us. He quickly got into the characters, the point of the story, and the action (of course). Late in the movie, Doc Holliday is at the end of his life. Laying in the sanitarium in Colorado, he’s dying, and the scene comes when he orders Wyatt Earp to go away. Wyatt respects his friend’s wishes and as Doc lays there alone, the camera angle lets you look from the end of the bed, past his feet to his face. Doc quietly says “I’ll be damned; this is funny.” What isn’t explicitly stated is that he’s lost feeling in his feet as a sign of his imminent death. While it’s clear to any adult watching that he dies, they don’t really emphasize this. Paul knew what happened, and was weeping for this antihero, as he appreciated the gravity of the scene. He also grasped this was the end of the relationship of respect and deep friendship between these two men—the same as the loss of a family member as the story is told.<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">In the end, we’re so proud of the balance Paul is developing across all things in his life. As all parents do, we constantly assess where he is with all facets of life, and balance between sheltering him and overexposing him to things. We seek to find and stay on that line where we’re doing our best to develop him into a young man of reason, who isn’t afraid of his emotions, but isn’t driven by them alone. These little instances, in this case related to love and loss, give us little hints we might be succeeding.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">It’s great to be a dad!</span></div>
J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-32007261672174002442020-04-02T00:21:00.000+02:002020-04-05T18:06:17.876+02:00Campouts! (Sort of...)<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">"Secret" campouts!</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Until very recently, they were a thing, and my son loved having them. The only reason they’ve stopped is because he’s outgrown his interest in them. What are these, you might ask? They’re totally easy and fun dad and lad events, and for us, they were my son’s creation.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">All this began when he was toddler. He was sick and I ended up sleeping in his room next to his crib on the floor whenever he was sick enough to warrant an extra set of eyes or ears nearby. Honestly, I have to admit more often, I was a nervous dad and wanted to be close to him as he slept, in case he needed something. I’d have felt horrible if he was in some sort of real distress and I didn’t know it. But the original idea was his—a fun way for him to have company while I got to monitor him. As time passed (and I settled down as a new parent), the need to be right with him when he was sick diminished. But across those early years, he became aware that there were times when he was sick that he’d wake up and find me sleeping in his room nearby. That’s when the fun began. He started asking for me to come sleep in his room just because he wanted the company—not because he was sick. A quick tangent here: other than by very rare exception (less than you can count on one hand), he has never been allowed to sleep in our bed with us. We’ve always wanted him to know he has his own bed, and to feel comfortable in it. So this wasn’t replacing anything like that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">This little arrangement turned into a game we began playing. He’d tell me to tell Steph that I had “computer work to do”, then I’d bring my pillow and sleeping bag into his room and we’d hang out while he fell asleep. Funny thing was, we went for several years where I’m pretty sure he really thought Steph had no idea that we were having a “secret campout”. We enjoyed letting him think this way. It made the whole thing more exciting: more dramatic. More years passed, and he figured out there was really nothing secret about the whole thing, but we continued to play the game.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Here’s what it’s become, and what we do. It would be bedtime and we’d tuck him in. Most recently, then he would text me and asked for a secret campout (or an SCO). When it’s bedtime for me, I’ll head back to his room and gently wake him up to let him know I’m there. Sometimes he’ll want to talk about any number of things, but talk or not, he’d always end up sound asleep again within a very short amount of time. These little SCOs became a wonderful way to continue fostering that special bond between the two of us: moments of trust, comfort and fun.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Maybe more significant in the long run are the “regular campouts” we have. These aren’t actual outdoor campouts either though. (Some day I hope we get to share those too. He’s a bit reluctant to be that close to nature, although I see his curiosity and sense of adventure starting to overshadow his uncertainty.) Instead, we gather up a couple sleeping bags and pillows, make some popcorn, grab some sodas, and head back to the playroom for some solid dad-n-lad time. We play video games and usually end up watching something of mutual interest on Netflix or Amazon. We tell jokes and make all the sounds and grunts that boys make when we know we’re not going to get “that look” from mom. And these also became the times when he felt he can talk to me about anything because he knows the time is protected.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">When we do this, the playroom becomes the best fort ever, or a spaceship, or a secret base—any place he wants it to be where we’re alone together. Now he’s moved through the pre-teen years, and as an early teenager, the secret campouts have all but ended. He’s older and busier, and has interests that hold his attention in the evening other than time with me. But he still talks about our SCOs, and for the most part, we’ve replaced them with occasional dad and lad outings for lunch or dinner. As he continues to grow and mature, my hope is our dedicated times together continue through other activities. What I’ll always work to protect is what really has been behind our SCOs for so many years: dedicated time for the two of us deepen our relationship as father and son. Both Stephanie and I have done our best to let him know he’s always allowed to talk to us about anything, individually or together, and that those conversations are safe. For these years so far, and for the years to come, we’ll do what we can to reinforce and encourage that kind of open communication for those times when it’s needed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">It’s great to be a dad!</span></div>
J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-1905713354975610842019-01-30T18:16:00.000+01:002019-01-30T18:16:59.206+01:00Kids and Dogs<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Dogs! They’re just plain cool, and for most kiddos, they’re great companions and playmates. They provide an opportunity for kids to take responsibility for something living in addition to their other chores. We had dogs for most of my growing up years, and I’ve had one for most of my adult years.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">When our son was born we had a pup in the house.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">She had already been with us a few years, loved Paul as a baby, but as he got older and big enough to play with her, she got grumpier.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">Almost entirely a jealousy issue.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">She was never out of line and never caused him harm, but really didn’t want to participate in his fun and games.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">In her later years as an elderly dog, she became plain old grumpy.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">It saddened my son that he didn’t have a dog that wanted to play, and our promise to him was to get him a dog that would be his when the sad day came that our old dog moved on.</span><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">That day came and we were all heartbroken. Even Paul was crushed by the passing of the pup even though she really didn’t like him. The plan was to take some time off, let the wound of the loss heal, then find a pup that would be his. Among just a few others, his preferences included a Corgi. Our old dog was a rescue and a mutt, and part Corgi, so that probably fueled some of the desire. Not to mention Corgis are a crazy cool breed with lots of energy, and a personality two or three times their physical size.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">As things sometimes do, we became aware of a litter of Corgis right at the time we lost our old dog.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">We were pleasantly surprised that this struck us as a comfort in spite of the recent loss, and we decided to take a look.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">A quick visit later and we were hooked.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">To make it better, the pup we ended up with was weened and available to come home right around our son’s birthday.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">What a present!</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">And we joined the ranks of the Corgi owners.</span><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">As mentioned, I’ve been around dogs my whole life.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">They’ve all pretty much been mutts, and most of them I’ve had as an adult were rescues.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">Oh man, this Corgi is a different breed!</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">(Pun intended.)</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">This critter does things I never saw my other dogs do.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">We’re in a social group with other Corgi owners locally, get the little rascal out for periodic gatherings at nearby dog parks where he can run with others of his kind (including many of his family!).</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">I’ve made these observations and asked these questions of that group too, but I think it’s probably therapeutic for me to put them here was well.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">Any who knows, maybe some of you have Corgis and will sympathize and laugh along with me…or at me.</span><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span></div>
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<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;">These are 30 pound dogs that think they’re 60 pounds.</span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;">They don’t know they have stubs instead of “regular” length legs.</span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;">They shed like massively shedding monsters. I don’t know how a critter can shed more fur than they actually have on their body at any given time. It may be a miracle. Or something akin to a freak of nature.</span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;">These are mouthy dogs, in two ways. First, they’re not a drooly breed, but they seem to have very wet mouths and noses. They like to get your attention and “hold hands” with their soggy mouths. When our pup plays with a toy, it gets soaked. Second, they chew on things, a lot: toys, baseboards, irrigation system emitters, cardboard boxes, just about anything in the bathroom trash can, etc. Some stuff can’t taste good but it goes in the mouth anyway. Even some of my son’s modeling putty. Gads.</span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;">They are smart and stubborn. Really smart, and really stubborn.</span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;">Related to #4, I can’t tell if sometimes they genuinely don’t get what you’re telling them or training them to do, or they totally get it and want to be sure you know they’ll listen when they feel like it.</span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;">Going along with the stubborn streak, if the dog wants to make a point, it seems peeing on the floor is an approved acceptable method in his mind. We’ve had this knuckle-head for almost a year now and he’s definitely housebroken. But if he gets mad or frustrated, he’ll pee on the floor to make his point. He’s even done this within sight of the door to go outside. At least once he’s done it right after he came in from the back yard.</span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;">Related and finally, it seems typical for this breed to pee when they’re nervous or excited. I give up and accept peeing is a form of communication (beyond marking territory) for these little dudes. Have your paper towels and cleaner readily available. One time, there was this killer balloon—but that’s a story for another post.</span></li>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">All said though, these Corgis are very cool critters!</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">I never thought I’d like a breed of dog as much as this keeping in mind, most of the previous dogs were mutts and rescues.</span><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Best of all, this little giant dog is definitely our son’s dog, and Paul is the dog’s boy. They are two peas in a pod. The pup pouts when Paul’s not around. They play together and Paul’s bed is the one piece of furniture the dog is allowed on. (We had to buy a little set of stairs so the pup could get up there though—so funny!)</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">So the boy is happy, the dog is happy, and therefore the parents are happy!</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">It’s great to be a dad!</span></div>
J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-80924840903852948882018-11-16T22:43:00.000+01:002018-11-16T22:43:51.248+01:00ATA Worlds!<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">This past July my family and I traveled to Little Rock, Arkansas for the ATA World Tournament and Expo. While this is something we thought we’d attend at some point, to see the Expo and associated ceremonies, etc.), if you had asked me a year ago if this was something we’d attend for Paul to compete in after the 2018 season, I would have said no.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">With the need to learn the new open hand (Shim Jun) and weapons (Gum Do) forms as 1st Degrees, we assumed any shot at going to Worlds to compete in the Tournament of Champions would have to come in 2019 at the earliest. The time it would take to learn the new forms well enough to perform at a competitive level took us out of play for the first 4-6 months of last season. Even so, we talked about going to “see Worlds” and cheer for our friends if we could afford the time and expense. Last March, however, we realized Paul just might qualify to compete in 2018. Then the surprise of surprises happened when Stephanie told me I was ranked in the World standings and it looked like I’d be eligible to compete. I honestly thought she was pulling my leg. (She wasn’t.) With the potential for both of us being able to compete, we began to plan to go!</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">For those who aren’t familiar with ATA, the season basically runs all year, with the bulk of the competitive season occurring from August through May. There’s a small pause as all the State and Provincial champions and top 10 are determined, then each District holds their Championship in June. At the same time as the State top ten are determined, the top ten in the world for each division are finalized. That group of top ten in the world are qualified to register and compete for a world title. Added to that list is anyone who wins a gold medal at their District Championship that isn’t already qualified for Worlds.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">When the regular tournament season ended, Paul missed being ranked for Worlds by just a few points. We were so proud of him though, for how well he did basically only competing for half the season and still making it so far! I remained qualified to compete in Traditional Weapons, and so off we went. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">It was surreal being there to compete, thinking when that day came I would most likely be there cheering on my son, but not competing myself.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">As it turns out, I was the competitor and Paul was the one cheering for me.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">Honestly, his ring full of young athletes is incredibly more difficult than mine.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">It seems the pack thins quite a bit for those of us in the 50s.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">My ring had 11 men in it.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">It was an incredibly fun and busy week.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">Two days before I had to compete in the Tournament of Champions, I had the opportunity and privilege to train under Chief Master Raimondi and certify in the Gum Do (Level 1) form.</span><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Then competition came. I went into the ring ranked 6th in the world in Traditional Weapons. When it ended, I was humbled to stand on the podium with a Bronze Medal around my neck, ranked 3rd in the world in Traditional Weapons for 1st Degree Black Belt men (50-59 years old). It meant so much to me to have Stephanie and Paul there to cheer me on, along with a significant number of friends from our school who were also there to compete.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">Then another tournament happens the two days following the Tournament of Champions.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">This “Worlds Open” tournament kicks off the new season.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">Two days later as the new season began, I entered the ring again to compete and when the dust settled, I took 1st Place!</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">What a great way to start the new year!</span><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">Just as important as the competition itself though, was the time we spent with our martial arts family. So many of our friends were there from our District! We celebrated the end of the tournament having an awesome dinner with our chosen family, we took pictures at the Gate, we strolled the gardens with the kiddos and learned about some of ATA's history, and we spent long evenings together in the hotel enjoying the pool, pizzas and friendship!</span><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">We’ve been competing for several years now and this was definitely the pinnacle of our experiences so far.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">Worlds was huge, well run, and there was a constant and high level of energy.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">We enjoyed everything about the tournament itsefl, seeing some of ATA’s history (including the beautiful H.U. Lee International Gate and Garden), and even the fellowship at the hotel each night where several of our own school’s families were staying where we sat and told stories late into the evening.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">We had a wonderful time competing, cheering for friends, and making new friends and when it was over we returned home very content and tired.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">We knew as we boarded the plane, Paul and I would do what we needed to do this year to return to Worlds in 2019—this time with the intent for both of us to compete for world titles.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">It’s great to be a dad!</span><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span></div>
J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-66308386446473295292018-05-14T22:08:00.002+02:002018-05-15T18:36:27.092+02:00His First Big Trip<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Just a few weeks ago Paul went on his first big trip without mom and dad. His class from school made a multi-day trip to the Pali Institute, in California. </span>As other parents before me have no-doubt experienced, this involved a wide variety of feelings for me. The excitement of seeing him go somewhere for two nights without us. And the nervousness of seeing him go somewhere for two nights without us.</div>
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I was in 4th grade when I made my first big trip like this, and still remember it vividly as our class got onto a bus and drove for about seven hours from Colorado Springs down to Mesa Verde National Park. We spent two nights away from home, and learned about the people who lived there and built the amazing cliff dwellings. I remember feeling grown up on that trip, and didn’t feel any uncertainly or worry that mom and dad weren’t right with me. Talking to my son after his trip, it seemed he was the same, with his entire focus on the adventure and not being away from home. I’d like to think that reflects on having done a sufficient job preparing him for being away from us at that point, but there was still all the nervousness in me as a parent, having him that far away. Here’s how it all played out in my simple, fatherly mind.</div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Excitement!</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">As mentioned, the trip to Mesa Verde was exciting for me, and based on Paul’s stories when he came home, Pali was just the same for him. It seems everything about the trip was fun: the adventure of the bus ride, being with his classmates outside of school, everything he learned about and did, etc. He even raved about the food and ate things there that we normally have to push him to eat at home. We were excited as parents because he never showed any fear or reservation about being that far away for several nights. I have to believe that a big part of what prepped him for this was that he’s spend more than that many nights away from home. They just weren’t out of town. If anything ever went wrong or he decided he wanted to come home in the middle of the night, we could have just gone and picked him up—no problem. Whether Paul has stayed at a friend’s house, or with his grandparents, he’s never asked to come home early for any reason. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">And nerves!</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">But this trip took Paul away from the local area without us. If he got sick, had a horrible time, or anything else went wrong, it would have been a drive to another state to get him. Not a crisis of course, but this was the farthest away from us he’d been. Steph and I had been away from him longer than two nights before, but when that happened he was always with his grandparents. This time he had no family nearby and it honestly made me nervous. I know that doesn’t make me special or unique, but I had finally hit that point in the parenting timeline when those nerves came into play. I managed this by focusing on the excitement and adventure he was experiencing, and by openly admitting to my wife (probably too many times), that I missed him and was nervous. I also knew he was with two teachers—both of whom we obviously trust a great deal.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">In the end, dad and lad both came through just fine. I was reassured by all the stories he had ready for us when he returned home, and by the fact that nothing went wrong. To add to easing my mind, his teacher periodically texted all the parents photos of what the kids were doing—something that my parents never could have benefitted from when I was in elementary school. Frankly, short of a phone call, there was no word about the progress of my young trip to Mesa Verde. But thanks to today’s technology, we could get amazing updates for Paul and his classmates as the trip unfolded.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">So with that hurdle cleared, I know the next one will be easier. Right? Riiiiiight? (Okay, I’m a big enough man to admit in advance, I’ll probably still be a little bit of a wreck…)</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">It’s great to be a dad!</span></div>
J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-55472729099986207552018-04-26T02:33:00.000+02:002018-04-26T02:33:12.565+02:00A Family Achievement<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">You’ve seen the earlier posts: just about four years ago Paul began his journey to earn a Black Belt. Within a month, I joined him on the mat and a month or so later, Stephanie joined us both. Paul’s journey became a family journey. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Here’s what’s happened since my last post (over two years ago, please forgive me!) when we passed our Blue Belt tests. This past June we all passed our tests for our First Degree Black Belts! Like all of life, the challenge of testing didn’t come without a few hiccups, but in the end we celebrated as a family.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Right on track with his goals, last year Paul competed for a full year to include at the ATA Spring Nationals 2017, became the 2017 Nevada State Champion (Color Belt, 9-10 year old boys), and was the Silver Medalist at the ATA 2017 Districts Tournament (Nevada, Arizona and California). </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">And suddenly it was time for Black Belt testing! We all tested on the same day. Paul went first and we cheered for him, then Steph and I tested together with the adults and Paul cheered for us. We felt it was the perfect culmination of a three year journey. After working so hard to test for each belt, we faced the toughest test yet. All the work that led to that point was to allow us to take the toughest test so far rather than to just be awarded the belt. In spite of all the prep, a 10 session set of dedicated classes for the folks testing for their decided rank, when the day came, we were all confident but nervous, and the test seemed harder than it probably was. It was also definitely more exciting as the head of Victory Martial Arts nation-wide sat in front of us and judged our performance as it related to the standards. When it was all over, we had passed. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">We celebrated the end of the beginning that evening in a candlelight ceremony where we we shared in the significance of the Black Belt, and entered into the small community of those who’ve earned the privilege of wearing one. And we celebrated the opportunity to look forward to the beginning of a new journey. As I’ve been told and read in the context of the Black Belt across several martial arts styles, the Black Belt represents the mastery…of the basics. I think it’s true. After all the work, memorization, struggles, nerves, failures, injuries, and incredible successes, it’s at that time you realize just how little you really know or are truly proficient at. And so we found ourselves at the beginning of a journey once again—now to begin to hone the body as a weapon, to move beyond the basics. Learning the basics was difficult. Building on that foundation is more difficult, but we’re on to learning the 1st Degree Black Belt form called Shim Jun. With 81 moves and more difficult techniques, it’s the longest, most complex and challenging form we’ve had to learn so far. Make no mistake though: it’s fun!</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Paul and I have also learned the traditional Black Belt sword form called Gumdo, associated with the Korean equivalent of the well-recognized Japanese katana. With the sword as his weapon, now he has to perform this traditional form each time he competes in order for his XMA sword form to count for points. While Gumdo is relatively short, it’s a highly technical form. It’s performed very deliberately and slowly compared to most other weapons forms, making even the smallest mistakes very apparent. The precision and accuracy required to do the form well is a very real challenge.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">For Paul, we couldn’t be prouder: the competition in his ring as a new Black Belt this year has been amazing. These kids are all incredible martial artists who bring their A-Game every single tournament. Each one of these young athletes has my respect for being a part of the circle of friends that continue to motivate my son to always do his best. Because of the time it took to learn these new forms, he didn’t have a shot at making State Champion this year, but he’ll finish in the top 10 and qualify to compete at the District Championships!</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">There are many people that deserve significant thanks, but I have to recognize two people in particular at this point in our family adventure: </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">First, Mr. Guerrero, our Chief Instructor. He has been Paul’s instructor from his first day Paul started as a White Belt. He’s also the gentleman responsible for challenging Paul to start competing several years ago during a slump in his journey to Black Belt. Mr. Guerrero has continued to instruct, mentor, correct, encourage and champion Paul’s efforts. Without you, sir, I don’t know how this journey would have happened. We’re a part of your Victory Summerlin family, but you’re definitely a part of our family too. I can’t imagine our experience, and especially Paul’s, could have been any better without you. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Second, Miss Noonen, who came alongside us this past year and has changed the way Paul approaches how he performs XMA. She’s been a picture of honesty and grace, and taken time out of her schedule to teach and coach Paul specifically in the context of competition with a sword. Ma’am, your timing was perfect as Paul moved into the significant challenge of competition as a Black Belt. I can’t imagine anyone else who could come alongside our regular instructor and form such a perfect team to move Paul forward in his journey.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">You both encourage, inspire and compel our son to exceed his own expectations, to set new and high goals, and then to realize they’re achievable. And both of you have warmed his heart with a phone call, a hug, or a hero shot during those times when the goal isn’t met. We can’t thank you both enough.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">One final thought: How many parents get to legitimately tell their kids to go play with a sword? We are those lucky parents!</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">It’s great to be a dad!</span></div>
J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-90828392410831288062016-02-10T17:34:00.002+01:002016-02-10T17:34:30.645+01:00Success Follows Failure<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">
My last post covered how my son failed to pass a belt test. Afterwards, he told us “that won’t happen again” and he’s worked incredibly hard. Since then he’s passed the tests for his Green Belt (Decided), Purple Belt (Recommended), Purple Belt (Decided) and Blue Belt (Recommended). As he went through earning his Purple Belt, he learned the associated phrase representing the meaning of the color of the belt: “Coming to the mountain. The tree is in mid-growth and now the path becomes steep.” At Purple, he was half way to earning his Black Belt and was learning expectations are higher and what he’s learning is more difficult. He also knows he’s now within a year of earning his Black Belt if he perseveres and continues to pass his tests. It’s not just an idea he talks about now; it’s something he sees he can achieve. As his parents we see this having a very real impact on his life.</div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">Last Spring Paul competed in two events at the Las Vegas Victory Martial Arts Inter-School Tournament:</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">XMA Weapons (Sword) and Traditional Forms.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">He was holding in third place but then a three-way tie for first eliminated his chance for a medal.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">Then he tied for third in traditional forms but after performing again for the tie-breaker, he took fourth and lost that medal too.</span></div>
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While these aren’t failures by any means, to have two medals slip from his fingers was a disappointment for him. We were so proud of his attitude and for how hard he tried, then for his heartfelt willingness to encourage all of his friends, and to celebrate with the ones who did well enough to take medals home. We encouraged him to take a break and enjoy how hard he had worked, but with the intent to reset, re-focus and shoot to improve at the next tournament. In the most recent Fall tournament, he competed in the same two events: XMA Weapons (Sword) and traditional forms. This time he tied for first place with his XMA Weapons form and ended up taking second after performing again to break the tie!</div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">His practice of a martial art has also had an impact outside of the discipline itself.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">For a second year now, Paul remains on the Victory Martial Arts “A-Team” as a straight-A student.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">We certainly have to guide and encourage him to consistently apply himself at school (with the attention span and focus of an 8 year old constantly working to undo his fledgling habits of discipline), but more and more he’s telling us how he needs to apply himself differently or better, or telling us how a particular life skill from Victory served as a reminder to stay on task at school.</span></div>
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Related, he was recently presented with his school’s award for Academic Excellence in All Subjects. Steph and I looked back to confirm what we thought we remembered, but this is his third year in a row earning this award. </div>
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Now the journey continues, in martial arts and in life at large. We’re so proud to see our son and his friends who he’s sharing this journey with, as they genuinely work hard and struggle with achieving very real goals—goals that once achieved will have a lifelong and comprehensive impact.</div>
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What’s next? Maintaining the incredible work he’s been doing during the second half of the school year, and the chance to test and advance to Blue Belt (Decided) in just a few weeks, in which “the tree reaches for the sky, toward new heights.” He’s also been invited to join the Competition Team and is now training for the upcoming ATA Spring Nationals in Las Vegas, where he’ll compete in Creative Weapons (traditional Sword) and XMA Weapons (Sword) form. You know what he tells us about all this? “YES I CAN!” His goal: First Place.</div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">In spite of the progress of these individual mountain top moments and successes, there’s also been a bit of a mental slump in the overall routine.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">A three year goal is difficult to stay focused on for many adults, and it’s a lifetime away for an eight year old.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">I’ll write about that next time.</span></div>
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It’s great to be a dad!</div>
J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-40173728559213280572015-10-21T02:42:00.000+02:002015-10-21T02:42:32.044+02:00Learning From Failure<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">
One of the challenges of parenting is finding ways to safely let your child fail at something so that they learn, grow and improve from it. When you and your child are surrounded by like-minded friends, those inevitable moments of failure can become wonderful experiences.</div>
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In April, all three of us tested for our next belts at our Victory Martial Arts school. We each tested on different nights: three nights and three tests, followed by a fourth night where we’d all stand together and tie on our new belts as a family. Steph tested on Monday and passed, I tested Tuesday and passed, and our son tested on Wednesday. He didn’t pass. </div>
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He wasn’t alone, as several others failed as well. Not to diminish what we were doing, testing this time was difficult for all of us. Steph was working hard to gain and maintain the necessary skills while guarding against re-injuring her knee. Training to pass her test while in the middle of physical therapy was a challenge. Her perseverance showed though and she did fine in spite of some real difficulty and pain. For Paul and I, this was our first training cycle and test as advanced students. The standard required to be allowed to test is higher, and what’s required to pass the test is also more difficult.</div>
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At the end of the evening, our school’s director was fantastic with the kids who failed. He took time to explain the role that failure plays in life. It was a great teaching moment. The kids who didn’t know how to learn from a failure had a glimpse within a very safe environment, how they could apply this experience and continue to grow toward success. It was very special to see how the instructors and the parents came together to celebrate those who passed, and solidly encourage and support those who didn’t at the same time. Let me be frank: this is not a program that finds a reason for everyone to pass. Everyone doesn’t get a new belt. If you don’t meet the standard, you have the opportunity to train hard and try again next time.</div>
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What made this experience special was that while the kids who didn’t pass were still disappointed, they learned several important things:</div>
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First, they can and should be responsible for working to improve themselves for the next time, so they can try again. Good instruction is provided, but as we know, that’s not all it takes. Many of these kids knew as they were testing that they didn’t meet the standard to pass. Some also felt that something outside of their control caused them to fail. As adults and parents I trust we all know that this is how it is in life. Sometimes you don’t prepare well enough. Other times things happen that you don’t or can’t anticipate or control, and these things frustrate your best intentions and desires. Even so, you can be the victim and blame everyone else, or you can work to overcome the obstacle. Paul and so many others that night set out immediately to do better and not succumb to the temptation to blame someone or something else. They strive to improve and perfect the things they can so that when the challenge comes, they’re best prepared to succeed…to win.</div>
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Second, there are journeys in life that are just as important as the intended goal at the end. Running is one of those journeys. The practice of martial arts is another. Getting your next belt is always the goal. Getting a black belt is certainly a goal that many view at THE goal, but working toward the black belt is where most of the learning happens. Once you earn your black, there are additional degrees of progression. The journey can end, but it can also continue beyond just earning a belt. Even if you physically hit a point where the next belt is out of reach, the journey doesn’t have to stop. The fit lifestyle and the challenges to maintain your health to the best of your ability can certainly continue. Giving the benefit of your experiences, your wisdom, can (and should) continue as you help those who are at an earlier point in their journeys, or are struggling through something for the first time that you’ve dealt with many times before. I believe the journey is really the adventure and the goal. In the case of martial arts, the belts represent signposts or reminders from special points along the way.</div>
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Third, there’s still joy to be found in celebrating the successes of your friends and family. Paul was clearly disappointed but he perked up quickly and continued to cheer for his friends. At the end, he found as many friends as he could who passed and told them “good job”, gave high-fives and hugs. As things calmed down though, some of his sadness returned and Steph and I had the pleasure to see him do something that many adults probably wouldn’t have. He stepped outside with one of his best friends who also failed the test, sat on the curb, and these two amazing boys shed tears together as they comforted and encouraged one another.</div>
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What made this most special for Steph and I was the Belting Ceremony. Paul sat with us on the floor and participated as Steph and I tied our new belts on, even though he wasn’t receiving one himself. He stood there with us, and each of us held an end and pulled together. He told us several times he would never want to miss being there to celebrate with us and help us tie our belts on. What a wonderful perspective coming from such a young man.</div>
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In the end, our son is learning how to deal with adversity and failure in a very safe and controlled environment. With good instruction, support and encouragement from his family and friends, mixed with his own developing perseverance, he’ll continue down this path. He’ll be a better martial artist for it. I think as he applies what he’s learning to the rest of this life, he’ll be a better man. By the way, watching him do things I’ve never did at his age makes me a better man too. I’m so proud of my son!</div>
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That was in April. Now it’s October. We’ve tested twice since then, and next week is the next testing cycle. So much has happened. I’ll tell you the rest of the story in my next post.</div>
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It’s great to be a dad!</div>
J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-82918682933522536472015-03-14T16:37:00.000+01:002015-03-14T16:37:31.905+01:00A Family Affair<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">
As many of you know, Paul has been taking Tae Kwon Do for eight months now, and I’ve been training with him for the last six months. Two months ago, Steph also joined us, making the practice of martial arts a family affair for us. </div>
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Steph’s commitment has been amazing, especially since the beginning of her journey hasn’t been easy. With bad hips and a bad knee, she found herself unintentionally on the floor several times, but she maintained her “yes I can” attitude and continued to train with the support and expert advice of her physical therapist. Two months after she began, all three of us went through testing last week to advance in rank.</div>
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I need to mention the instructors and staff at Victory Martial Arts - Summerlin. Without them, this journey toward black belt wouldn’t be possible for Steph or I. Our son is young and strong, and like most kids, he’ll try anything with a little encouragement. His mind is sharp and his body is able. Training is to do something new is always challenging, but his body adapts and grows stronger. Steph and I “enjoy” all the challenges of middle age, along with a few additional permanent bumps and bruises that always try to assert themselves. The instructors at Victory Summerlin willingly accommodate us, always adjusting the training to allow older bodies the chance to grow strong and more able. Somehow they do this without making things easier or cutting things out that others are expected to do. Then when testing comes, we find ourselves accepting the challenge to do the forms and break the boards just like the young men and women! Mr. DeSmith, Mr. Guerrero, Mr. Scott, Mrs. Garretson and Miss Bivens: you inspire us, you keep us motivated, you train us hard, and because of you, we succeed.<br />
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Our instructors are like family, but there are others in our Victory family too. Paul has a wonderful circle of friends he trains with: some ahead of him in the program, some at the same level, and some coming up behind him. These young men and women are amazing, and it’s a pleasure to watch them all grow together. He also goes to school and church with some of these kids, making this circle of friends a part of his whole life. The same is true for Steph and I as we’ve become close with several of the parents, many of whom have also joined their kids on the training mat (and adding to the ranks of what several of us at Victory, with tongue in cheek, call the “Senior Division”). We struggle and sweat together in training, encourage each other and our kids, and love it when we find ourselves doing things we weren’t sure we could. Then we socialize and celebrate together. There are too many to call out here, but we love each and every one of you!</div>
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So the recent testing week was special for us. After all three of us successfully tested, we sat together as a family and were called up to receive our new belts. Then we stood in a circle of three, with a hand on the ends of each other’s belts, and at the appropriate time, we all pulled and tied our new belts on together as a family.</div>
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The journey continues now as Steph works toward replacing her orange belt with yellow, and Paul and I do the same, hoping to replace our cammo belts with green. Yes we can!</div>
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It’s great to be a dad!</div>
J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-39380730368790787232015-01-19T17:55:00.002+01:002015-03-14T16:37:52.581+01:00Busy with Belts<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">
October through December were fun and full months for Paul and I! Paul competed in his first tournament and both of us tested twice to advance to our next belts: Paul went from orange to yellow and then cammo (recommended), and I went from white to orange, then to yellow.</div>
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<u>The Las Vegas Inter-school Tournament</u></div>
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All four Victory Martial Arts schools in the Las Vegas valley came together for a city-wide tournament on October 18th. With approximately 300 participants and four rings, it was a crowded blast! Right after the tournament was announced, we asked Paul if he wanted to participate and with his nod of approval, we signed him up for two events: traditional forms and traditional weapons, knowing these were two events he could perform well in, even if he was nervous. The goal was for him to do something new, and build his confidence and self-esteem while having fun. The morning of the tournament Paul went through an anticipated round of nerves, and we had to remind him we expected him to do what he committed to do. Once he realized he wasn’t allowed to just back out, he began to relax. Then after a few of his friends arrived, he shook off the nerves, found his confidence and was ready to compete.</div>
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Since this was his first tournament, everything about it was new. Paul had to line up with the other beginner kids he was grouped to compete with (and without Steph and I). This refueled a few nerves but by that point his enthusiasm and confidence was in control. As his line walked in, they announced them and directed them to their ring. Steph, her parents and I had seats at Paul’s ring and the competition began.<br />
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He performed his empty handed form as well as he’s ever done it, and made us proud. He did a great job entering and leaving the mat, and showed all the proper respect to the judges. After completing his form, he sat and cheered for his friends, then prepared to do his traditional weapons form with the Jahng Bong (Bo Staff). Even though it wasn’t the weapon he was currently training with, Paul chose to use it because he was already comfortable with the form and most other competitors would probably be using the current weapon (the baton-like Bahng Mahng Ee), allowing him to stand out a bit. As it turned out, he was the only one in his group using the Jahng Bong and he stood out in a good way.</div>
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The first real surprise came when the first in his group was called up to perform with her weapon. Like Paul, she was prepared to perform a trained set of moves (a traditional form). When she was ready, the center judge told her, “you have 30 seconds…begin!” She completed her form comfortably in 10-15 seconds and waited at the end for the next command from the judge, only to hear him say, “you still have 15 seconds…keep going!” It was clear at this point that whatever the kids were going to do, they had to fill the time (or the remaining time) with a creative weapons performance. It was a surprise for parents and kids alike, but she didn't miss a beat and finished strong. I looked at Paul to see if the change was going to trouble him, but he remained excited and confident—I honestly wasn’t sure if he didn’t realize there was a change, or was confident enough not to be bothered by it. Steph and I had no idea what he would do once he took the mat. He could perform his traditional form a couple times, traditional form once, then some creative moves, or just wing the whole thing and perform creatively for 30 second. He did the latter and it looked like it was his plan all along, and his score for this was higher than his empty-handed form!</div>
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At this point, he was done with his events and could relax, continue to cheer for his friends and enjoy the rest of the day. The next event that followed was board breaking and before we knew it, Paul was signaling us and silently mouthing, “I want to break boards!” So much for the earlier nerves and a lack of confidence! Since we didn’t register him for board breaking, he wasn’t able to perform, but I suspect he will during the next tournament! Sometime about mid afternoon, we headed home and that evening he slept like a rock.</div>
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<u>Belt Testing and Ceremonies</u></div>
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On October 21st I tested for the opportunity to move from white to orange. It was an exciting time for me after training for two months. As mentioned in an earlier post, resuming martial arts training after over 30 years is exciting and quite a challenge. The mind remembers, but a 50 year old body doesn’t behave quite like the mind may want it to. The training is challenging and fun and this is a deliberate first step in my own journey toward black belt—a chance to finish what I started so long ago. I passed my test and what made it most special was having Steph and Paul there cheering me on, and Paul holding up a totally cool sign he made to motivate me.</div>
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Two days later it was Paul’s turn. Steph, her parents and I were there to cheer him on. With a sign we made for him, and a cowbell to make some noise, we watched our young man approach the challenge as a totally different guy than two months prior when he tested for his orange belt. With several more months of training under his belt, being selected for the Leadership Program, and being bolstered by the experience of the tournament, he was completely confident. (When he tested for orange belt, it was quite an effort to keep him calm and cut through his worry.) He tested very well and passed without any issues. We’re definitely proud that he’s continuing to advance and enjoy martial arts, but we’re most proud of him for the incredible amount of confidence he’s gained since he began.</div>
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The Belting Ceremony (Graduation) was fun and well done as always. With the school decorated and students in clean, white uniforms, Paul and I were called up at the appropriate times to receive our belts. Then family members were allowed to join the students on the floor to help remove the old belts and tie on the new. Stephanie joined Paul and I and with our new belts loosely tied around our waists, Paul and I held one end of each other’s belts and Steph held the other two ends. When the time came, we all pulled and tightened the new belts! With the ceremony over, the celebration continued with food and music.</div>
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Then in December after another training period it came time to test again. Paul worked hard toward his cammo belt and I did the same to advance to yellow and we both passed again! Due to travel I was unable to test with the group I was supposed to , but consistent with our school’s emphasis on family, I was able to test with Paul the evening I returned from my trip. It made an already special event even more special for the both of us. Earning cammo, is significant for Paul as it moves him from beginner ranks to advanced. At this point the learning, rigor and expectations increase for him individually as well as his involvement as a leadership student ratchets up as he starts helping the school’s instructors with the kids’ beginners class. As for me, I continue to remind him I’m racing him to black belt!</div>
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Steph and I owe genuine thanks to our martial arts instructors, Mr. DeSmith, Mr. Guerrero and Mr. Daos. These three men and our fantastic Program Directors (Mrs. Garretson along with Miss Bivins— both also black belts!) do a great job, as does the rest of the Victory Summerlin team of leadership students and black belts who are always there helping the beginners. It’s a gift to be able to push kids and adults to their limits in a way that provides an important part of what they need for success in martial arts and in life, while keeping it fun at the same time. As a footnote, we learned that Mr. Daos was selected to travel and perform with the Marvel Universe Live. (Now we can say we know Spiderman!) We’re sad to see him leave so soon, but in his place we gained another awesome instructor, Mr. Scott. As a family we’ve all already benefitted from his expertise as he moved right in and started instructing as if he’d been there all along.</div>
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Steph and I look forward to watching our son continue to grow in the best of ways physically, mentally and emotionally. Adding martial arts, and specifically the Victory Martial Arts’ program under the American Taekwondo Association, into his life alongside his academic education is truly preparing him for the years to come. And speaking of Steph, she’s joined us in our journey and is training now as well. We all test for our next belts in February: came (decided) for Paul, came for me, and orange for Steph. Victory Martial Arts has truly become a family affair for us!</div>
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It’s great to be a dad!</div>
J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-74928868908923567872014-09-27T19:23:00.000+02:002014-09-27T19:23:29.463+02:00Victory Martial Arts - Leadership Program<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Following up from my last post, Paul has taken another step in his development as a martial artist and in his growth as a young man.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Not long after Paul earned his Orange Belt, our Chief Instructor talked to Steph and I about placing him into the <a href="http://www.victoryma.com/" target="_blank">Victory Martial Arts</a> leadership program based on the potential he shows in class.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Around that same time, there was a special demonstration and instructional event hosted by the Victory schools here in Las Vegas, featuring several senior black belts from Orlando, Florida (the home of Victory Martial Arts).</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">During that event, Paul also caught the eye of the visiting leaders and we consented to have them publicly invite him to enter the leadership program.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">A week later, at our school, one of the Chief Instructors at our school announced in front of his friends that Paul had joined leadership.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">He received a new belt representing his participation in the program (an Orange Belt with a gold stripe in place of the usual black stripe), and a new leadership uniform. </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Since then, he attends an additional 30 minute training session twice a week following the normal Beginner’s class. It’s fantastic. In these sessions he trails with the small group of other leadership students in a more difficult, but also more fun, class. While the practical focus is on more advanced knowledge and discipline, more complex forms and additional weapons, the goal within the school is to develop these kids into martial arts leaders as they work toward black belt. </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">As Paul continues to advance in rank he’ll attend his usual training and leadership lessons, but he’ll also start help the instructors when they teach the beginners class.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">He’ll directly apply what he’s learning as he helps other students.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 0px;">The character traits taught and fostered through Victory Martial Arts are: Respect, Self Esteem, Communication, Discipline, Honesty and Belief. As important as these are in the practice of martial arts, it’s more significant that the knowledge and practical experience Victory provides for the kids is intended to directly translate into a positive attitude and a lifestyle of action in the child’s behavior and performance at home, in school and eventually in their jobs and all of life. After only three months we already see these life skills carrying over into the Paul’s life at home and at school. On a humorous note: recently we were leaving a restaurant with Paul. As we reached the door, he quickly turned back to face our server and the folks who work there and in a strong voice thanked them by proclaiming, “Goodbye Sir, Goodbye Ma’am!”, then stepped outside. It was already habit to be courteous and show respect to those who had just helped (or in this case served) him. Obviously this </span><span style="font-size: 12px;">wasn't required ore expected but the habit carried outside the school. We </span><span style="font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 0px;">were </span><span style="font-size: 12px;">amused</span><span style="font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 0px;"> and very proud at the same time.</span></span><br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">This has been a great time striving toward a goal as father and son!</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">We’re less than a month away from testing again.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">This time Paul will test for his Yellow Belt and I’ll test for my Orange.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">And not too long from now, Steph is going to join us in the program too.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">What an amazing addition to the things we do throughout the week to build and strengthen the bonds that tie us together as a family</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">through shared experiences, struggles, and striving together toward a goal.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">In the process we’re also getting more fit, and we’re making some amazing new friends as a family!</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">It’s great to be a dad!</span></div>
J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-44177859780350654602014-08-18T18:45:00.000+02:002014-08-18T18:46:21.824+02:00Our "Karate Kid"<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Nine weeks ago my son began taking Taekwando lessons through an <a href="http://ataonline.com/" target="_blank">American Taekwando Association</a> school called <a href="http://www.victoryma.com/" target="_blank">Victory Martial Arts</a>—something he’s been asking to do for almost a year. Steph and I kept putting it off simply because he’s been playing soccer for three years and at the end of each season he kept asking us to sign him up again. At the end of last season, he told us he was tired of soccer and wanted to do something new, and asked to start martial arts instead of soccer. So we signed him up!</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">As an athlete, I’ve been an “individual sports” kind of guy my whole life.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Maybe it’s fairer to say that I enjoy sports that I compete as an individual in.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Not that I’m not a team player or enjoy the community of team sports, but there’s something about how I’m wired that drew me to cross country running, and in High School, Kenpo karate.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">While we encouraged Paul’s participation in soccer, there are all kinds of signs he’s wired the same way I am.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">I wasn’t surprised when he grew tired of soccer and was even less surprised when he continued to ask to participate in martial arts.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">(He also says he wants to run with me, but I haven’t convinced him to start yet.)</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Steph and I are working the life-balance issues with Paul, just as all parents do with their kids. We have a pretty stable routine that we believe best ensures he continues to do well in school (including getting his homework done in a disciplined manner), but not to squelch time during the week for him to participate in some form of physical activity (sports), and time to just play and fuel his imagination (LEGO, video games, etc.). He knows school is always the priority, but we want him to have plenty of time to explore the other things that keep a life balanced/full/colorful. In all these things, he has his circles of friends, and in most cases they overlap, creating a cool, common thread that connects all these major aspects of his life.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I’m pretty sure Paul doesn’t know just how thrilled I am that he’s involved in martial arts. As I’ve watched him these past couple months, I’m remembering and reliving the thrill, challenges, pain, and excitement of learning and doing new things physically and seeing the tangible achievements (mental and physical focus, balance, confidence, etc.), especially represented by working hard and advancing to the next belt. This past week, Paul tested for the first time and moved from White Belt to Orange Belt. He was more nervous than I think I’ve seen him be about anything. Steph and I worked through it with him as best we could. Most of the time both of us were at every practice since he joined the school, and one of us was always there. We were his champions, his encouragers, his cheerleaders when he practiced at home and during lessons. As with so many things in life though, we can’t do this for him. When testing time came, he had to take the test and perform the necessary elements in front of other White, Orange and Yellow Belts…and the Black Belts. Yes, the Chief Instructor has the Black Belts test on the same evening as the junior belts. The Black Belts were amazing examples for the young martial artists, and the advanced students also championed and cheered the new students as they took these first steps toward earning their own Black Belts. Even with all the encouragement and practice, several of those testing to advance in the junior belts didn’t pass. Some of the Black Belts didn’t pass either. In this they became amazing examples to the lesser experienced athletes. The parents were well represented at testing too—for the White Belts testing for the first time, all the way up to the Black Belts testing for the next degree! It warmed my heart to see the amazing turnout by the parents and even other friends, many of whom brought signs and noise-makers to encourage the kids and adult students.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Paul worked through his nervousness and did amazing with his forms (with and without his weapon).</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">He struggled with board breaking though—the event we knew he was the most nervous about.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Along with several others, on his final attempt he broke his board and the crowd went wild, for Paul and every other athlete who tried so hard!</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">So, Paul has begun a new adventure in his life:</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">the practice of martial arts and the pursuit of a Black Belt.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">But wait, there’s more.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">As I mentioned, I participated in martial arts (over 30 years ago!).</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">This week I’m going to begin to train again, in a new style and with my son at the same school—Dad and Lad, racing each other toward a Black Belt.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">And by racing I mean encouraging each other.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Paul’s excited about this, and so am I.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">And since he’s a full training cycle and one belt ahead of me, I’m having fun pointing out that in this this thing we’re doing, he’s beating dad.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">He’s already getting used to hearing me say, with a huge grin on my face and a high-five:</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">“don’t let me catch you, son!”</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">As always, it’s great to be a dad!</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div>
J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-59229908430974776932014-06-17T17:07:00.000+02:002014-06-17T17:07:04.563+02:00The Grand Canyon!<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">The Grand Canyon really doesn’t need an explanation—the name says it all. You stand at the edge and look, and it’s self-evident why it’s one of the Seven Natural Wonders of the World. A week ago Steph and I, along with her parents, took our son to see the Grand Canyon for the first time. What an experience. As we walked up to the rim, his reaction was priceless!</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">We didn’t descent from the rim during the trip, but you can’t help but admire the views whether it’s your first visit or not.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">The scale of the Canyon is almost inconceivable.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">One of the best things about the trip itself was the US National Park Service’s “Junior Ranger” program.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">When we checked in at the Visitor’s Center, they provided me a book for him with a number of educational requirements that had to be met to earn a Junior Ranger certificate and badge.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Needless to say, Paul was excited as we showed him the book.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Activities were based on the age of the child and broken into categories named after different animals.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">For his age, he had to attend at least one presentation by a Ranger, write and draw what he learned from the presentation, and complete four other tasks oriented toward focusing a child his age on aspects of nature and the Canyon itself.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">We ended up attending two Ranger presentations.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">The first full day we were there Paul selected a presentation about fossils.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">At the appointed time, we met with Ranger Mike and took a short walk from the Bright Angel Trailhead to a large fossil bed, probably less than a half mile away.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Along the way we stopped and sat on the rim while Ranger Mike talked about the geologic history of the Canyon and how it formed, the rock types present in the Canyon, and why we’re able to find so many fossils today.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Then everyone was up and walking again and in just a few minutes we were standing in the fossil bed.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Ranger Mike described the five types of fossils we could find, then made it clear to the kids that all of them would find and see an example of all of them.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">The parents all seemed just as interested as their kids, but we had a moment of levity when Ranger Mike told the kids, “as our time goes on, if we haven’t seen a particular kind of fossil, you might want to look where the Ranger is standing.”</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Kids were excited to know they’d get a hint; parents were happy that our guide wouldn’t let the lesson go too long.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">The kids had great eyes though and within about 15 minutes everyone had seen all five fossil types.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span>At the end, Paul had to answer several questions in his book detailing what he had learned and present it to Ranger Mike to check. Since Paul had already completed the other tasks, Ranger Mike signed his certificate and presented him his Junior Ranger badge. Paul was thrilled!</div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">The next day we attended a second presentation on the California Condor with Ranger Ty.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">It was as well-done as the fossil class.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">We gathered again near the Bright Angel Trailhead at the time of day that the California Condors are known to return to their nests after a day of scavenging.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">It was amazing to hear how there were only 22 (or so) of these amazing birds at one point after the population had all but disappeared primarily due to toxins in their food supply.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Through a captive breeding program there are now approximately 400 birds total, spread across several locations, but primarily living in the Grand Canyon.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">While they’re still endangered, all the indications are they’re</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">moving confidently toward eventual removal from the list of endangered species.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Ranger Ty taught the kids (and adults!) how to tell the difference between the California Condor, the Turkey Vulture and the Raven, all three of which are present in the Canyon.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">He talked about the history of these birds and used kids to show us just how big they are,standing about four feet tall with a 9-10 foot wing span!</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">He also explained the breeding and tagging program as well as the role of the Rangers in public outreach to help reduce the toxins that get into the Condor’s food.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Sure enough, while we sat and listened we had the privilege of seeing two California Condors!</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">To make it all even cooler, just by walking around in and near our campsite, Paul was able to see a make and female Elk, several lizards, squirrels, and a variety of small birds. He also made friends with a boy with a family camping next to us and ended up putting more miles on his bike in a weekend than he’s put on there the entire rest of the time he’s had a bike.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">It was a wonderful weekend of rest, education, and fun for all of us!</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">I have no doubt Paul will remember his first visit to the Grand Canyon for the rest of his life.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">It’s great to be a dad!</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div>
J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-17381854209087386292014-01-22T18:05:00.002+01:002014-01-22T18:06:39.680+01:00Realizing Your Mortality<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Readers: this post covers a heavier issue than usual. I hope it’s useful to you now or at some point regarding how you may address the issue of mortality with your kid(s) or young people that you might have the opportunity to mentor. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Early this month my son woke up crying in the middle of the night. When Steph and I went to his room, he said he dreamt he was “buried in the ground under dirt before it was his time to die.” He went on to say through his tears, “I don’t want to grow up and die.” It’s important here to point out this wasn’t a horror movie kind of dream. He wasn’t buried alive or anything like that. He said he saw himself as if he was buried after he had died and clearly knew what had happened.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">My son turns seven in February. When I was a child, not much older than he is now, I also became aware of my own mortality. I can’t recall anything in particular that could have triggered this realization, but I remember there were two related things that struck me heavily at that point in my young life.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">First, I realized I was growing older, and as that continued, I would lose interest in the things that I liked to play with and do as a child. It was obvious to me because I never saw any adults (my parents included) playing with anything I liked to play with or frankly doing anything I thought was fun at that young age. That made me sad because from my young perspective I had some cool stuff and did some pretty fun things! Everything about life was an adventure and I never wanted it to end. But I could see movement toward a time when I wouldn’t enjoy these things.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I think the second revelation was a result of the first. I realized someday I would grow old enough that life as I understood it would end: I would die. I think it’s important to say I don’t remember knowing anyone who had died, or even being aware of anyone actually dying, but the simple logic of my young mind allowed me to put the pieces together. This had a real impact on my life for several years to follow, as I wrestled with what it all meant. Honestly, outwardly I was a regular kid, but inside I was distracted by my own mortality.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I don’t talk about it often in this blog, but it’s not something I hide either: I’m a Christian and as a result, I hold to the hope hope that when life in this body ends, I don’t simply cease to exist. I wasn’t brought up this way though, nor did I experience anything akin to a conversion at that young age when I wrestled with the concept of death. I mention this because as a child in what was practically an unchurched family, my parents didn’t have anything to offer me in the form of an explanation or context—not from a Christian point of view, or any other. Life was just life. Apparently you live, and then you die. End of story. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I remember at the point the frailty of life gelled in my mind, I was sick with a cold—a cold and nothing more. But I was sick and as a result, a bit miserable. In the middle of the night (like my son), and not directly related to being sick, I became aware enough of mortality that I sought the comfort of my parents. I went into their room and as they comforted me I expressed to them my realization that I would die someday. Looking back it was a bit of a funny moment, but when I told my mom I knew I was going to die and that it was disturbing me, she responded in an attempt to comfort me by saying, “you’re okay, you’re not going to die, you only have a cold.” She didn’t understand that I wasn’t talking about having a cold, nor was I worried I’d die from it. I can’t be critical. What parent comforting a young child with a cold would ever think the issue at hand was actually the realization that death is a part of life. I didn’t try to explain my struggle any further, they ultimately calmed me down, and sleep visited me again thanks to a soft back rub and the tiredness associated with the middle of the night.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Thoughts of the reality of my own mortality burdened me though for several years to follow, stealing some of the enjoyment from many of the things that were a part of my life. It was a nagging preoccupation. That brings me back to my son. I remember struggling with the same thing and have worked to encourage his concerns by offering hope that there’s more to life than just life in the bodies he sees.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">My son’s struggle with this issue does differ from mine in an important way : he’s definitely aware of two deaths. I blogged about <a href="http://jpharvey.blogspot.com/2012_08_01_archive.html" target="_blank">losing my dad</a> in August 2012. My son was old enough to be very aware of what was happening as we visited my dad when he passed away, then during the memorial service in the days to follow, and finally when we interred him at Arlington National Cemetery a few months later in December. Much less significant, but every bit as much real, we had to put our cat down just before we traveled to Arlington. My son loved the cat and I’m sure he’ll always consider him his first pet. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Although these things happened over a year ago, Paul has continued to talk about it regularly. Not in a bad way, but it’s clear he’s continued to wrestle with mortality, and it seemed to come together in some way when he had his dream. Since then I’ve worked to encourage him based on my own beliefs, and he seems to be handling it well. One of the recurring discussions we have when he makes me aware he’s thinking about these things is that while we believe life goes on after our bodies die, it’s okay to be sad when we lose someone here. It’s okay that we’re sad because we can’t see them like we used to any longer. It’s also okay that we remember those we love who have preceded us in death. And as a Christian, we can take comfort in the hope we’ll see our loved ones and friends again some day. For those reading this who hold an orthodox or reformed Christian view, I’m sure you’re wondering how I’m dealing with the teaching that in death, everyone doesn’t go to Heaven. I’m doing my best to be careful not to say (or imply) that everyone goes, but I’m also being careful not to lead my son down the path where I shatter any hope. He’s not ready to have that larger and much more heady discussion just yet. For now and for him: all the hope I can offer a child with the stage set for the deeper discussion later.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">We often hear the word “closure” associated with the passing of a loved one. A year later, with all the understanding I can muster after losing dad, I think I’m mostly there. Not completely, but mostly. A way I describe where I am in the healing process: the open wound is closed and a scar is forming, but it’s still very tender. Some days I think my son is farther along than I am; other days I’m convinced he’s not. I do my best to understand all of this from his young perspective, not to make too much or too little of it all, keep it in perspective, and just be his loving (and living) dad. My own childhood struggle with the matter of mortality certainly helps me with this. I know this though: it’s a privilege to be my son’s dad, and to be by his side as he continues to wrestle with it all. There aren’t words to explain how special it is to be the man he turns to for explanation and comfort, to share what he’s thinking, and to cry and laugh with about anything and everything. I get to watch him grow!</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">It’s great to be a dad!</span></div>
J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-39823315524623176202013-11-19T18:31:00.000+01:002013-12-05T14:47:30.695+01:00My First Marathon<span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 0px;">Two years ago I </span><span style="font-size: 12px;">never</span><span style="font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 0px;"> thought I'd ever be able to run a marathon, but after putting several half marathons behind me and four months of dedicated training, I ran the Rock ‘n’ Roll Las Vegas Marathon!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 0px;">This is the same event that I ran my first half marathon during, just a year ago. I completed the training without any issues and on the evening of November 17th I was ready to run, nervous and excited, and joined about 30,000 of my running buddies in the Starting Village as we put ourselves into a proper mental state with each other and with the help of the All American Rejects (who put on a fantastic concert for us!). Then it was time to get into our corals, hear a wedding performed at the starting line (because it's what we do in Vegas) and the National Anthem. Finally the gun sounded and we were off. </span><span style="font-size: 12px;">I set out to run the race in four hours and twenty minutes but ended up finishing in five hours and twenty six minutes. I'll explain why.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 0px;">I learned a few things through my training and the race. First and </span><span style="font-size: 12px;">foremost</span><span style="font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 0px;">, a full marathon isn’t twice as hard as a half marathon. It’s more than twice as hard. I suspected this was the case when I realized I had passed through the 13.1 mile mark with what seemed like ease, but somewhere around mile 20 I was more than twice as sore as when I had finished the half marathons I'd run before, to include covering 13.1 to 20 miles seven of the last eight weekends during my training. In the end, I think the marathon is the hardest thing I’ve ever put my body through.</span></span><br />
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<u style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 0px;">Cramps</u><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 0px;">. Thankfully I’ve never had abdominal cramps or stomach issues while running. I’ve had to manage leg and foot cramps after long runs at times but I’ve also never had to deal with them while running. Until this race. Between miles 17-18 my right calf cramped pretty hard. It happened quickly and rather than pretend I could fight it, I slowed to a walk and let it resolve. It seemed to take forever, but it worked. I went back to running after it let go and continued on until sometime between mile 22 and 23 when it cramped again. I slowed to a walk again. It took longer to stop cramping but I finally picked up a slow running pace once it released. At that point the front of my thighs were on the verge of cramping (probably the result of compensating for the misbehaving calf) but never did so, so I pressed on and crossed the finish line tired and happy, with a </span><span style="font-size: 12px;">small group of other tired and happy runners. The time I spent walking accounted for a good bit of the extra hour it took me to finish the race.</span></span><br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><u>Hydration</u>. I don’t think the cramps were the result of dehydration. I was well-hydrated, sweated throughout the race and even had to stop several times and take advantage of the portable bathrooms staged along the route. I don’t believe I was over-hydrated either. My watch and RoadID fit well and never got tight. My hands and feet never swelled.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><u>Nutrition</u>. I’d been training at longer distances with Gu gels and cut up nutrition bars, and if I ate during a training run, I’d carry water (rather than a sports drink). I’d eat along the way every 45 minutes to an hour with good success. On mid-length runs, I wouldn’t always take solid food or gels and would run with Nuun in my water bottle instead. My longest runs made me sore but I never cramped. With the leg cramps during this race, I have more experimenting to do with long distance nutrition. I suspect the cramps were the result of not managing my electrolytes well and so an imbalance formed during the run. (BTW, I’m a pretty salty sweater.) Based on recommendations from others, I want to try Tailwind and will probably give it a go the next time I train for a long race.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><u>Weather & Clothing</u>. The weather was perfect. The temperature at the start was about 65F with low humidity typical of southern Nevada, and just a slight breeze. Being a night race, the sun was setting as the race began and the temperature gently dropped throughout the run. I wore shorts, a thin long-sleeved tech tee, with another short-sleeved tech tee on top. Injinji socks and my Saucony Kinvara 3s on my feet, and no hat or gloves. As is the norm, I had no foot problems at all (including no blisters). I never felt too hot, and only got chilly when I was walking off the leg cramps. BTW, the Kinvaras are now retired with that race bringing me just short of 400 miles on those shoes. They were fantastic road shoes and I’ll probably replace them with a pair of Kinvara 4s.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><u>My Family</u>. Training for this race took four months. I couldn’t have done it without the support of my wife and son, who patiently dealt with my (very) early runs during the hot months, then my evening/night runs during my last month of training. That last month was especially disruptive since runs were longer and often trampled over dinnertime and even my son’s bedtime on occasion. And then there was the adjusted social schedule with friends and other family members. I owe my wife and son HUGE thanks for letting me train for, and then run this race. So thank you Stephanie and Paul! I love you and I can’t repay you for your generosity and patience.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Now that this race is done, I plan on trying to work more variety into my training: more general body strength, core strength, and I want to get back to working on the stairs and rowing again. I’m also going to try to get back to more trail running.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">So, will I do it again? YES! I definitely want to run another marathon. The half marathon in Las Vegas is awesome because you spend all of the time on The Strip and parts of the Art District, but the added route for the full marathon is frankly boring, covering two long and straight roads. I’ll probably continue to run the half marathon here but will look for my next full marathon in a different location: perhaps one of the southern California races in LA or San Diego.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">It’s great to be a dad!</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">(Disclosure: I was not asked to comment on or endorse, nor was I compensated for mentioning any of the brand products in this post.)</span></div>
J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-58103323763870635722013-11-09T14:05:00.000+01:002013-11-11T21:27:03.387+01:00Book Review - "Ender’s Game" and the Ender's Saga<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Written by Orson Scott Card from 1985 through 1996, I’ve read the four books contained in what is often referred to as “Ender’s Saga” several times. With the movie version of </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">Ender’s Game</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> now on the big screen, I thought it would be a good time to review the original books in the series.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;"><b>Ender’s Game</b></span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> (1985)</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">When Orson Scott Card wrote </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">Ender’s Game</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">, he created a classic for older children (“young adults”) and adults alike. When compared to most modern action/adventure stories (and movies) the pace of Ender’s Game strikes me as a bit slower. Even so, there’s plenty of action, suspense and drama as the reader follows young Andrew “Ender” Wiggin through his training the military Battle School in order to make the cut to continue to be groomed for eventual command.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">The story is set far in the future, after Earth has recovered from an attack by a hostile species referred to as “the Buggers”; an attack that nearly annihilated humanity. In an attempt prepared for a future Bugger war, children are screened and selected for battle training in a special schoolhouse orbiting the Earth. The hope that some will show the right tactical and command skills, and have the overall mental capacity as they move into adulthood to make them qualified and capable of commanding a fleet of warships. This book focuses on young Ender’s training and testing as a child. Removed from his family at a very young age, his adventure is often less than pleasant and at times brutal.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Without spoiling the end, events take a dramatic turn late in the book, having a lasting effect on young Ender, and significantly shaping the rest of his life. This also sets the stage for the subsequent stories contained in what has become known as “Ender’s Saga.” This book, as well as those that follow, are full of all the good stuff that makes great science fiction--space, ships, a struggle to save Earth, and the hope we have in our youth to move us into the future. As with all great Science Fiction, Ender’s Game is thick with social commentary and leaves the reader chewing on weighty ethical questions once the story ends. This is great book for adults, and a wonderful tool for parents to share with their kids when the time is right. I believe the discussions over the lessons that apply to real life will last for years to come. Grab a copy and enjoy!</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;"><b>Speaker for the Dead</b></span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b> </b> (1986)</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I loved </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">Ender’s Game</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> and was eager to finally read this sequel. Initially I wasn’t sure how the story would unfold but it took off quickly, building on the momentum created in the first book. According to Orson Scott Card, </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">Speaker for the Dead</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> was the story he originally set out to tell. Reinforcing what Mr. Card said, as good as </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">Ender’s Game</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> was, it only sets the stage for this story.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">As with </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">Ender’s Game</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">, social commentary is at the heart of this amazing story, and the reader watches the practical results of the now mature thoughts and consequences of Andrew “Ender” Wiggin’s youthful act of xenocide committed against the Buggers. In an attempt to address, put into context, and perhaps even redeem himself from the savage act of xenocide, Andrew authors two books, “The Hive Queen” and “The Hegemon”, and becomes the first of a non-religious order referred to as Speakers for the Dead. Through these two books, and his words as a Speaker for the Dead, Andrew strives as an adult to limit (if not prevent) any future act of xenocide. Triggered by the practical calling for a Speaker for the Dead to address the death of several humans on the colony planet Lusitania, we watch a larger story unfold when the resultant moral doctrine contained in “The Hive Queen” and “The Hegemon” play out as decisions are made about how to practically deal with the much more significant emerging conflict between the Human and another sentient race called the Pequininos.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">There are very few plot holes, but they’re not of consequence in the end. They’re easily overlooked and quickly overcome by this amazing story. If you liked the original story and haven’t read this sequel, please do. You won’t be disappointed.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;"><b>Xenocide</b></span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> (1991)</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">After the strength of </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">Ender’s Game</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> and </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">Speaker for the Dead</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">, I had to see where the story went and decided to read </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">Xenocide</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> even after hearing and reading very mixed reviews for the book. I’m glad I did. </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">Xenocide</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> took a slower pace than the previous books and deals with a human fleet sent by Starways Congress toward Lusitania. Onboard the fleet is a weapon called the Molecular Disruption Device (MDD, or the “Little Doctor”), a weapon with the ability to destroy an entire planet, sent with apparent intent to do just this to Lusitania. If so, the destruction of this colony world would result in the annihilation of all the human colonists as well as the xenocide of two entire races living only on Lusitania: the Pequininos and a third (surprise) sentient race. Working together, the three races struggle to find a way to stop the fleet and if necessary, to leave the planet.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Whereas moral and social commentary are usually undercurrents in science fiction, they take a much more significant role in this book as the author examines cultural, racial and even gender biases and preferences in the context of the struggle to preserve life: specifically what happens when the struggle for life and culture of one group puts another in jeopardy. </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">Xenocide</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> also examines the unique origins and life of Jane, Ender’s faithful companion and an apparently another sentient being (a third species outside of humanity) living within a communications network of devices called Ansibles, spanning the inhabited universe and allowing faster than light communications between the worlds.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">This diminished the strength of the book for some, but I didn’t mind as the more traditional elements of science fiction were still solidly present: the possibility of a sentient life emerging from within the virtual world; an interesting and creative examination of a particle called the Philote; faster than light communication and travel; and time dilation. Some reviews I read expressed dislike for the liberties Mr. Card takes with science, however I enjoyed how he played with physics to enable a continuing and wonderful work of fiction. He’s no guiltier with his scientific liberties than most who preceded him in the genre.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">While </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">Xenocide</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> wasn’t my favorite single book in the series, I definitely enjoyed it as a key part of a broader piece of wonderful storytelling. While taking a slightly different direction, </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">Xenocide</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> is a logical place and way for the story of Ender Wiggin and the universe he lives in to continue. Keeping that in mind, I recommend it to anyone who enjoyed </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">Ender’s Game</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> and </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">Speaker for the Dead</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;"><b>Children of the Mind</b></span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> (1996)</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">This book had many similarities to and differences from the first three in the Ender’s Saga. It’s very different from </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">Ender’s Game</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> and </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">Speaker for the Dead</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> in that it’s more philosophical, even though it’s much more a direct continuation of the primary story that left off at the end of </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">Speaker for the Dead</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">. While also different from </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">Xenocide</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">, there are a greater number of similarities with this book than with the first two. I mentioned in my review of </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">Xenocide</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> that social commentary takes a more significant role; in this book it takes a primary role. </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">Children of the Mind</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> is much more philosophical than the books that precede it but Orson Scott Card does a fine job of wrapping up the overall story of Ender Wiggin and those who surround him.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">As Mr. Card continues and concludes the story of Ender, he takes the events of the previous three thousand years of history and uses them to pose the very difficult questions we often try to avoid: what is life, what does it mean to be human, what makes us individuals and is the value of an individual life when weighed against a greater population or even the entire species, and what is gender? His characters wrestle with the difference in value (if any) between life and sentient life. He also does a fantastic job of posing very significant and real moral questions on a societal level, and works through them (often without providing “the” answer): when should war occur; at what point does the price of employing a weapon of mass destruction outweigh the cost; etc.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">My only constructive criticism or observation is about the title. I’m not sure what other name I’d give the book, but I didn’t feel the story was much about the order called The Children of the Mind. While they play a critical role in the story, the order itself is only a secondary actor. It seems the only real tie to the order is that the more heady and philosophical nature of this book suggests we’re all actually children of the mind in one way or another. Mr. Card challenges us to think about ourselves, humanity, and the world we live in.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I definitely enjoyed </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">Children of the Mind</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">. I recommend it to readers who enjoyed </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">Xenocide</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">, especially if you want to know how the story of Ender Wiggin concludes. My only “caution” to the reader is to remember the much more philosophical direction this book takes. Once again, enjoy!</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I recently saw the movie Ender's Game and look forward to posting my review soon.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Based on my fondness for these first books, I'll continue reading in the Ender’s universe, moving on to the four “Shadow Saga” books. I also plan on reading </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">Ender’s Game</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> to my son soon.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">It’s great to be a dad!</span></div>
J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-91549527908723263552013-10-31T16:02:00.000+01:002013-10-31T16:02:10.329+01:00I Didn't Mean to Scare Him<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">It’s happened to many of us before, I’m sure. I was supposed to be a tender moment, and I scared my son. It was the middle of the night and he was asleep. He’d been fidgety all night, having dreams, talking in his sleep, and tossing and turning. At one point it sounded like he might have been awake so I got out of bed and went to his room to see what was up.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">He appeared to be sound asleep. If he had awakened, he was already back in dreamland. Or maybe he never woke up and it only sounded that way. I went over and stood by his bed for a while just watching him, gently adjusted his sheet and blanket, then stood a bit longer to see if he would stir. Nothing. He was out, and for the moment quiet and still. So cute and peaceful.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">It was time to head back to bed myself so I slowly knelt down on his bed and leaned over to give him a gentle kiss. This is nothing out of the ordinary. Every night before I go to bed, I walk back to his room to check on him. I always give him a kiss and whisper in his ear that I love him, I’m proud he’s my son and I’m proud to be his dad. This was no different other than it was in the middle of the night. As I leaned down, just a foot or so from his face, he opened his eyes, saw me and screamed. I felt horrible!</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">As quick as he was scared by the presence of someone so close to him, he realized it was just me. I had also moved my face back from his a bit and said, “it’s okay buddy, it’s just me.” Recognition set in immediately and I moved back in, now to comfort and hug and hold him. He latched on, and out of breath, quietly said, “dad, you scared me.”</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">“I know, son. I’m so sorry. I just came in to check on you. I didn’t mean to scare you.”</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Catching his breath, “I know, dad.”</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">“I really love you, son. Please don’t be scared. I’ll always protect you. I never want to scare you.”</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">“I love you too, dad.” And he held me tighter.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">He quieted back down, faster than I would have thought possible after scaring him so bad. Within a few minutes he was back to sleep. I re-adjusted his sheets, gave him the kiss I had intended to give him at first, and whispered my usual affirmation of love to him in his ear. As I started to move away and off of his bed, on the cusp of sleep he whispered back, “I love you too dad. I’m proud to be your son.”</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">That young and amazing boy broke my heart twice in just five minutes. First because I felt so bad that I had scared him, knowing there was no way to undue that moment. Then, with his sweet words of love back to me. I left his room knowing the last thing on his mind as he went back to his world of dreams was my love for him.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">It’s great to be a dad!</span></div>
J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-25348292325398637552013-08-10T19:31:00.000+02:002013-08-10T19:31:25.253+02:00The Comfort of 20 Years<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Just over a month ago on June 26th, Stephanie and I celebrated 20 years of marriage. In one sense it seems overwhelming. I’ve realized it’s also a standard for comfort for me.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">A lot has happened in 20 years. We were young, but weren’t too young by most standards when we married. I was already 29 years old and a captain in the Air Force, and Steph was just a few years behind me in age (although she undoubtedly looked much younger). Relative to those who marry during, or right out of college, we had been around the proverbial block at least once or twice.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Time flies. I can’t believe how fast 20 years has gone by, especially as I ponder that at 49 years old, we’ve been married for almost half my life. It’s amazing and wonderful. While I can easily remember life before we were married, those memories are mostly like the memories of a movie I saw. They’re real, but the memories of life prior to our wedding are mostly absent of “tangible” emotion (if that makes sense). The years after, however, are rich with the emotion and events of our lives together...our life together. We’ve moved our household 10 times, traveled to and lived in a variety of places around the world, and 12 into the adventure our son was born as he joined us in our amazing journey. Looking back at all that’s happened, all the moves and discussions about the stuff of life, the decisions we’ve made, our agreements and disagreements, all the things routine and exciting--it’s a bit overwhelming. So much has happened in what now seems to be so little time.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">And yet there’s comfort. Even though time flies, somehow the past 20 years has seemed like a lifetime in the most positive way. While time does fly, strangely at the same time it’s become foreign to me that there was a time before we were married, a time that I lived alone, did things alone, had no wife or son or in-laws. The wonderful life I have today is almost the only life I remember with real emotion and passion. It’s the long and delicious life, the full and complete life, that’s culminated in things that have nothing to do with houses, cars, places, etc. The past 20 years has somehow quietly and firmly consumed all that I am, focused on my wife and our son, and our extended families. All the rest very peacefully became the stage we’re on and the props that set the scenes we’ve experienced and enjoyed. In the end, the past 20 years, married to the same sweet and amazing woman has taught, and brought me comfort. At least a kind of comfort that didn’t exist before we were married. Not that I was uncomfortable, but I’m somehow now more content and comfortable than I ever was before. Life went from good to great, from tasty to exquisite, from black and white to full color, or perhaps from regular-def to high-def. You get the idea.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">So our 20th anniversary came and went, with the associated and heart-felt special events and a quiet evening alone while our son spent time with his grandparents, but the momentary celebration of our 20th year pales in comparison to the wonder and comfort the last 20 years has brought to and meant to my life. I believe there’s truth in the statement that when we’re wed, the two become one. I can’t think of a better way to describe it. Without my wife, half of me would be gone; I can’t even imagine it, nor do I want to. She is and continues to be the love of my life and the mother of our son, and I’ve probably failed in my attempt to explain how those very sterile words actually mean something more than words can say. I trust that there are other husbands and fathers out there who know what I’m talking about. I also hope this modest attempt to describe how something conceptual has quietly become real serves as an encouragement to someone out there who might be considering embarking on the same adventure in marriage.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">And the only thing I can say to my amazing wife are these powerful and insufficient words: I. Love. You. Thank you for being my wife and the mother of our amazing son. As long as it's with you, I can't wait to see what the next 20 years brings for us!</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">It’s great to be a dad!</span></div>
J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-60116480607763665832013-06-08T21:38:00.000+02:002013-06-08T21:38:52.751+02:00A Big Month!<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">First there was Free Comic Book Day, then Steph and I went away for a week-long vacation visiting friends and attending a convention on the east coast without our son, and shortly after our return the school year ended with Paul finishing kindergarten.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">May the 4th (be with you)...Free Comic Book Day. Yes, being the geek parents we are, we have a favorite local comic book store and took Paul to pick out a few issues and enjoy the costumes. And boy did he! He went in costume himself and was a hit with everyone there. At his request we pulled out an old Halloween costume and transformed him into a little Bobba Fett. When he arrived he was instantly greeted and flanked by by a few fellow Star Wars characters: a Stormtrooper and a full-sized member of the Fett clan. Our son told my wife, "This is the best day of my life!"</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Toward the end of the month it was time for the convention. I completely trust my in-laws with Paul, but I think I suffered from something akin to fatherly separation anxiety. As I think I’ve said before, I miss my son when he’s in the next room asleep. For my wife and I to be on the opposite side of the country for a week was a little stressful for me. I’ve been on trips before, but Steph’s been home. This time it was both of us going and while we had confidence he’d do well, listen to what he was told, and have a good time, there was really only one way to find out: so off we went! </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">We had a blast at the convention and Paul had a blast with his grandparents, but this was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done as a father, and maybe in my life.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">We spoke with him several times through the week and it was all fun and games.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">The conversations weren’t long.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">He was so busy having fun he’d give us a quick data-dump, and then off he’d go.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">It warmed my heart to see how comfortable he was!</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">His behavior was great for his grandparents and at school, he did everything he was supposed to, and best of all he didn’t stress over our absence.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">It was a great relief to know he took it all in stride.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">(In fact, I think our dog stressed more than anyone, but she’s clingy and defensive.)</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">When we returned home, Paul was happy to see us, mostly because he could finally tell us about his adventures playing games, going on walks and especially playing in the pool.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I’m sure fathers who have gone around this track before understand--as a father this was a big step for me. I think the same was true in a different way for our son. Each of us grew a little (or maybe a lot) due to the experience and I’ve had the privilege of watching my son take a small but major step in his growth. I’m happy to see this level of independence in him. As I pray with him every night: I’m thankful and proud that he’s my son, and that I’m his dad.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Then, school ended this past week and we’re now the proud parents of a graduated kindergartener / brand new first-grader. Paul did well this year at school and I’m confident he’s very ready to enter grade school. For him it means next year he gets a new teacher and new friends in class, but Steph and I have made a bit of a big deal about it with him, pointing out we’re proud of him for being a first grader now and for how well he did this year. He’s already excited rather than nervous about it, and we’ll reinforce this with him toward the end of the summer. In the meantime, summer break is here and we’re swinging out efforts toward encouraging him to enjoy the fun and the days away from the classroom. I’m pretty sure we won’t have a problem with that and if this summer is like the last two, he’ll tell us he’s ready for school sometime during the last month of summer break. I love this lifetime adventure and as always...</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">It’s great to be a dad!</span></div>
J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-14958508017388421552013-04-29T00:00:00.000+02:002013-10-08T23:57:32.733+02:001000 Miles<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Almost three years ago I began consistently logging my runs using the Nike+ website. This month I passed 1000 miles.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I never set out with a goal to run a certain number of miles, so 1000 kind of snuck up on me. Having run my whole life, I think I began logging my runs primarily to start keeping myself committed to run regularly, and maybe to see how much I was actually running.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Here’s how it breaks down:</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Jun-Dec 2010: 32 runs, average distance 4.8 miles, annual total 155.89 miles.</span><br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Jan-Dec 2011: 64 runs, average distance 4.6 miles, annual total 295.26 miles.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Based on the data I captured for seven months in 2010, I probably ran just short of 300 miles for the whole year, just as I did in 2011. That tracks with my own perception of how I was running. I was fairly consistent, with most of my running happening in the best weather during spring and fall. This is obvious when looking at the graph for 2011. In June of 2011, I moved from southern Germany to Las Vegas, Nevada: a dramatic climate change, but my running picked up again in the fall.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Jan-Dec 2012: 77 runs, average distance 4.7 miles, annual total 364.83 miles</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Climate change aside, something odd happened in 2012: my mileage was low in the winter, and stayed low through the spring and didn’t pick up until fall. I’m not really sure why, since the weather is fine for running year round in Las Vegas, except for during the day in the summer. It seemed I just skipped my usual volume of running in spring and I’m not sure why. Back to why I started tracking my runs: based on my own perception, I wouldn’t have noticed this. The records gave me the ability to look back. Regardless, what brought caused in increase in miles toward the end of the year was my decision to run a half marathon. I grabbed a training plan from Runner’s World and started to work toward the goal of entering and finishing the Rock ‘n‘ Roll Las Vegas Half Marathon. </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">I ran that race in December 2012, ended the year strong and moved into 2013 pleased with what I had accomplished in the form of the half marathon.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Jan-Apr 2013: 42 runs, average distance 5.4 miles, annual total 228.77 miles. (Note: I had to repost this chart, which now runs through early October.)</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I set a few goals for 2013: to run at least two half marathons and to enter and run my first full marathon. Little did I know that I’d almost immediately knock out one of the half marathons. Late in December I received an email from Competitor prompting me to enter the Rock ‘n’ Roll Arizona event, pointing out that if I ran these two desert races back-to-back, I would pick up an additional finisher’s medal called the “Double Down”. I entered and rolled right back into the last 30 days of training for a half marathon. The new year was starting as strong as the previous year ended.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Now, four months into the year, I’m keeping my miles up better than in years prior. As April comes to a close, I’ve logged just over 55 miles, pausing only for eye surgery at the very end of the month. I’ll pick right back up again the second week in May, consistent with what the doctors advice. I have my sights set on running the Rock ‘n’ Roll Las Vegas marathon in November this year, and somewhere between now and that race I’ll find at least one more half marathon to run to achieve my goals for the year. </span>Also, if the last two thirds of this year mirror the first third, I'm on pace to log just short of 1000 miles in 2013 alone. We'll see how that works out, but I'd like to think I can do it with just a few extra miles here and there.</div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">So what does it all mean? There’s certainly satisfaction in seeing I’ve run 1000 miles. I’m looking ahead, I'll cross the 2000 mile mark sometime around the beginning of 2014. If the marathon this fall goes as well as I hope, I want to run at least one marathon in 2014 and attempt a 50K later in the year. I’m convinced seeing my running progress charted out has helped me run like I should, rather than just thinking I’m running like I should. I can see when I’m slacking off. Even so, the charts alone don’t motivate me completely. While I have a goal of running to maintain fitness (physical, mental and emotional), without specific goals to reach (races, time improvements), while still good it will quickly become less purposeful. I think this is what happened during the first half of 2012. Entering and running races ensured I have something specific I’m shooting rather than just the general/overall purpose of fitness.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Then there’s a long-term goal--perhaps THE long-term goal: to run for the rest of my life and to be an example for my son. I want us to enjoy each other’s company for a long time to come, and hopefully serve as a good example for him. And you already know why. Because...</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">It’s great to be a dad!</span></div>
J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-43942672353680134102013-04-13T02:55:00.002+02:002013-04-13T02:56:21.964+02:00Running Etiquette (Part 2)<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">My <a href="http://jpharvey.blogspot.com/2013/03/running-etiquette.html" target="_blank">last post</a> covered ten of my running etiquette “rules” and as promised, here are the rest. I hope you find them useful!</span></div>
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<li style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">(#11) <u>The road or trail doesn’t care about you</u>.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Potholes, rocks, lose gravel and the weather are indifferent about what you’re doing.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Wildlife doesn’t respect you or your good intentions either.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Don’t let the routine, the ordinary, or your experience lull you into a false sense of security.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Be prepared for the things that don’t usually bite you, literally and figuratively.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Hope for the best but have a reasonable plan for the worst.</span></span></li>
<li style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">(#12) <u>Have a plan</u>.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">In the spirit of the previous rule, let folks know your plan and carry some form of identification.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Whenever possible I let my wife know where I intend to run and how far/long I expect to go. I’m also a huge fan of <a href="http://www.roadid.com/" target="_blank">Road ID</a>.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Let’s face it, we’ve all set out to run a certain route and/or distance, along the way you change the plan for any number of reasons and suddenly you’re not where you said you’d be.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Then you find yourself needing help.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Back to Road ID--pure figurative gold and very affordable.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">No matter what, if someone finds you, they have the info they need to render aid and contact someone you’ve designated on your behalf.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">If you’re an outdoor athlete, whether you run, walk, bike, ride horses, etc., get yourself a Road ID.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Hopefully the worst never happens, but if it does, make it easy for someone else to help you.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">If Road ID isn’t your thing, that’s fine.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Just find a way to ensure others can find out who you are and render aid to you in the event you’re unable to ask for their help.</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">(#13) <u>Hygiene matters</u>. If you’re an early morning runner it seems in most cases the shower understandably happens after the run. Fine, but no matter what time of day you run, brush your teeth before you hit the pavement or trail, especially if you’re going to run with someone else. We runners love our air and when we run we sure move a lot of it in and out of our lungs. When you’re running with others, minty fresh (or even mediciny) breath always wins over last night’s egg salad or the kimchi you ate at lunch. Trust me. Your clothes matter too. You might not notice or mind the clothes you’ve repeatedly run in for the last week, but your running buddy will. Being frugal is one thing, but consider how often you probably ought to swap your shorts and tech tee for a fresh set. Ditto for your body. I didn’t forget what I said at the start of this rule, but knowing you’ll get a little “aromatic” when you log the next several miles isn’t a good reason to put off the shower that you probably already needed yesterday. Last thing on this topic: if you run in Vibram Five Fingers, please throw those things in the washer every now and then. Yes, you can do that! They’ll hold up just fine and we won’t have to smell your feet even when you’re still 25 yards away.</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">(#14) <u>Running is a journey</u>. I’m talking about a lifestyle or even a lifetime and of running, but just about every individual runs contain a little piece of that journey. This one probably warrants a separate, dedicated post as well. You hear runners talk about facets of this all the time when they say things like “listen to your body.” When you run, you have time to strip away the usual daily grind at the office or at home. It’s you, your body and your thoughts. If you run regularly, you’ll inevitably find yourself noticing things about your body that you’ve never noticed before. You’ll have the chance to work through issues mentally ranging from how your body is managing the physical stresses, pains and achievements of the run, to matters that the “normal” day doesn’t afford you the chance to dedicate thought to. You can daydream, or listen to music or books. You can actually enjoy an uninterrupted conversation with a friend who runs with you. You’ll see the world around you differently. You see things you’ve never noticed on the road you normally drive down. The trail in the woods you never see other than to drive by becomes a beautiful adventure and a world all its own. Over time all those runs add up and the time spent running makes you a better person: physically and mentally. Others may or may not notice, but you will. That’s why I say running is therapy for the body and mind.</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">(#15) <u>Run for fun</u>! I’m concluding by circling back to some of the thoughts in the earlier rules. Don’t get all wrapped up in the gear. Get yourself a good pair of shoes and get going--alone or with a friend. Old shorts and a t-shirt are just fine. Buy other stuff when and if you decide you need it. Don’t let other people or someone else’s running attire become your excuse for not hitting the road or trail. Generally speaking I don’t look like a runner, and quite often I don’t wear what some might consider the “right” clothes. Whatever. Enter races if you want, and if you do, have fun. As Nike says, “just do it.” Brookes says, “run happy.” There are dozens of other appropriate slogans out there. Pick one and take it to heart!</span></li>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">If you’re not a runner and this has encouraged you, let me know if you decide to get out there! If we live near each other I’ll gladly run with you If not, I’ll gladly be your virtual running buddy. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">As always, it’s great to be a dad!</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">DISCLOSURE: Road ID did not ask me to review, support or recommend their product. I don't have a relationship with them other than as a happy customer. I've not been compensated in any way. The opinion expressed here is completely my own.</span></div>
J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-90897447680609783042013-03-30T01:07:00.000+01:002013-09-25T16:29:10.855+02:00Running Etiquette (Part 1)<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I’ve seen other runner’s etiquette and "rules" lists over the years and thought maybe I should share my thoughts with those who follow my adventures. Hopefully you’ll identify with them, you might chuckle a bit, and I might even make you a little angry. These are the “rules” I try to run by and they’re based on my own experiences dating back to my years as a young man when I started running with my Dad. Some may be unique, but most are probably variations on common themes from across our sport.</span></div>
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<li style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><u>Never judge other runners</u>. You can certainly admire them, but don’t judge them. They’re running too. I think it was in Runner’s World I read, “there are no ugly runners.” It captured the same attitude I’m trying to express. Publications like Runner’s World (which is an awesome resource!) seems to present a picture of what some think is the typical (or stereotypical) runner: very lean, ideal form, and all the right gear. There are many folks out there who look just like that, but if you see someone running who doesn’t fit the picture, remember this: at least they’re running. You and I won’t ever know why or how most of the folks we see running actually ended up motivated to hit the road or trail--all you know is they’re there. As a lifetime runner without they “typical” runner’s body type (I consider myself an “ordinary runner”), I’m pretty sure I’ll never look like those runners on the magazine covers. The less-than-picture-perfect person you pass on the road or trail might have finally decided to give running a try. They might even be on their very first run. Or, they may have once been an incredible athlete, but are now recovering from injury. What matters is they’re running.</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><u>Acknowledge other runners</u>. A smile or wave of recognition or encouragement is always appreciated. A kind verbal or non-verbal greeting goes a long way when shared with other non-runners on the road or trail too: walkers, equestrians, cyclists, etc. Make a point to offer this kindness to others whether they return it or not.</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><u>Your shoes matter most</u>. Other than shoes, all the rest of your gear falls into the “nice to have” category. You risk hurting yourself without the right shoes. If you’re just starting out and don’t know what you need, your best bet is to find a local running store. They’ll assess you and let you know what kind of shoes you need. Many of them will watch you run and/or look at an old pair of shoes to see how you move, then advise you from there. Oh, and those shoes won’t last forever. Understand that if you get into this, you’re probably going to buy new running shoes every 300-400 miles. Distances vary depending on whose advice you’re considering and how you run. Regardless of miles, if your feet, ankles and knees start complaining and there’s no other cause, it’s probably time to treat yourself to some new shoes.</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><u>Running is an individual and a group activity</u>. For many of the runners I know, it’s primarily individual rather than social. However, you’ll still find like-minded buddies to share your passion with whether you run with them or not. Fact is, there’s an individual and a social element to running no matter who you are. Even if you’re a solo runner, find a local running group or track club, or even a casual group of friends at work or school who also run. I’m pretty sure you won’t regret it.</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><u>Running buddies and training plans keep you focused</u>. I mostly run alone unless I’m in a race, but I have several running and non-running friends who expect to hear about my jaunts. They ask regularly and my answer can’t be, “I didn’t run.” They’ll apply all the appropriate pressure. Call it accountability or something else, but it’s nice to have others around you who are interested in what you’re up to. For those solo runners like me, training plans give some structure to the routine. Even if you enjoy running, you’ll find yourself in those periods of slump when the routine becomes too routine or you’re not challenging yourself. Having a race goal and following a related training plan causes you to add variables you might not otherwise include: flats and hills, slow and fast speeds, changing distances, etc.</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><u>Running is competitive</u>. Here’s the secret though: you may not always (or even usually) compete against another athlete. Your primary competitor may be a new distance or a personal best/record, a change in the frequency of your running or weekly volume, or a change in the time of day you run. There may or may not be another human there. This is true for races too. I know I care very little about when other runners finish the race I’m in. The competition for me is to finish what I started and how that finish compares to any previous races of the same kind. But if you’re competitive and want to race others, you’re still in the right place!</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><u>It’s as much a mental game as a physical one</u>. Maybe it's more mental than physical. No doubt running is a physical activity and it carries all the physical benefits and consequences with it. Learning to physically deal with discomfort and pain is only a part of it though. Right along side the physical aspects are the mental and emotional ups and downs associated with your commitment to run: mentally dealing with the physical discomfort, pain and injury; nerves on race day; and frankly moments of boredom. Whether you run with some form of audio entertainment or not, running is not always the most mentally stimulating task. I’ve mentioned it before: running for me is mentally therapeutic. Even so, running with music, an audio book, or just my thoughts along with the urban or natural sounds that surround me can still result in those moments where my brain wants something more or different. Discipline is called for: yes physically, but also mentally. Oh, just getting out the door to run may be the thing that requires the most mental discipline.</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><u>Never defend your right of way</u>. The rules of the road or trail are nice, but your soft body will usually never win a contest with a bike, horse, or motor vehicle. At best, you’ll probably break even with another runner or jogging stroller. Courtesy and respect are always nice when they’re extended to you, but in the interest of safety and deference to others who may not even see you, when in doubt, err on the side of caution and respect the things around you that could cause you harm.</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><u>Respect the distance</u>. This rule, and the next probably warrant their own dedicated posts: No matter whether you set out to run a mile, a 5K, 10K, half marathon, marathon or ultra, patiently and properly train for and respect the distance. It’s the best way to avoid injury. Biting off more than you can chew after a moment of sudden inspiration usually ends in unnecessary pain and discouragement. I know this will anger some, but I also tend to think unless a race clearly advertises otherwise, running races are for running and the achievement of crossing the finish line is diminished if you treat it otherwise. If you enter a race knowing you can’t or won’t run through to the finish, consider covering the distance outside of the timed race setting. This is especially true of the longer distances: the half marathon and longer. I’m definitely not the fastest runner, but I’ve never entered a running race without the expectation I’ll run from the start to the finish line. You can (and should) do the same!</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><u> Walking is awesome</u>. This is related to respecting the previous rule. Do what you can do to gain and maintain good health. There are times when anyone who runs finds they need to walk during training and during a race: to repair equipment, perhaps to eat or drink (I can’t drink from a cup without walking), to deal with an injury or help a fellow runner. When you need to slow to a walk during a race, check beside and behind you then move to the side of the course. In other words, run like you drive--or should I say run like you’re supposed to drive. Some races declare a side of the road or trail for slower runners or walkers. If so, follow the rule. When it’s all said and done though, if you move to the side, you’ll lessen the risk of surprising or angering a runner behind you who may want to pass. You’ll also reduce the risk of causing a wreck and getting hurt, or hurting someone else. If you’re a runner, pay attention to the races you enter. If the race allows walkers, parents with strollers, etc., don’t get mad when they’re there and moving slowly along the course. Walking is awesome too, but enter running races to run unless the race specifically accommodates walkers. </span></li>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I’ve probably amused, intrigued and angered enough folks at this point, so I’ll stop for now. In a few weeks I’ll post the rest of my thoughts on running etiquette. In the meantime, if you happen to see me out there, let me know if I don’t smile and wave. And please don’t hit me with your car.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">It’s great to be a dad!</span></div>
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J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-76296843564207955782013-03-10T19:05:00.001+01:002013-03-10T19:05:21.159+01:00Calico Basin Trail Hike<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Last weekend I took Paul on a trail hike around a small peak in the Calico Basin part of Red Rock Canyon. This would be the longest and most difficult hike he’s ever done. With water and snacks in hand, we joined with another parent and one of his friends from school and off we went. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">In the Google Earth image, we parked on the left side near the intersection of Sandstone and Kraft Mountain Loop, then started counterclockwise around the peak. You can see the trail circle the mountain, then cut up and over, circling around the top of the image and back toward where we parked. </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">At the start, most of the trail was relatively flat, with elevation changes happening gradually.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">The scenery was awesome and we made our way about half way around the peak on a trail that varied between powdery sand and gravel.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">At about the halfway point, the ground got a bit rockier and we came to the first of several obstacles, primarily large boulders, we had to climb up and over. The challenge for the two parents was to coordinate our efforts to work the boys up and over the obstacles. Usually one of us would go up first, then both the boys, then the other parent would come up last. The boys were also challenged by this, not just because of the climbing, but because once on top of an obstacle, it took all the attention a five and six year old team of boys could muster to pay attention and be still. They did great!</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">With the rock scrambles over obstacles behind us, we rounded the peak to turn back toward the car and had the opportunity to hike a trail up and over the peak, taking us very close to the highest part. We rested at the top for a bit, enjoyed a little more water and took in the view, then made our way back down.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">We spent the rest of the day resting and visiting my wife’s parents. He’d given everything he had to a physically demanding day doing something he’d never done before. He rode an emotional high too, probably fueled by regular statements by me of how proud I was of him for doing something that difficult for a little man. Then bedtime finally came, his head hit the pillow, and he slept hard and peacefully. When my bedtime came, I did too. Being a dad, for me the day brought its own stress and excitement as I watched my son do things he’d never done before, some of these things with a bit of very managed risk, but risk nonetheless. I fell asleep content and very proud of Paul.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Another adventure is behind us now: one more special experience I’ve had the privilege of sharing with my son.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">It’s great to be a dad!</span></div>
J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-13076035519814057012013-03-02T16:24:00.000+01:002013-03-02T16:24:49.647+01:00Is Running Too Expensive?<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I recently posted in a running community on Google+ “Running is about you and a pair of shoes. Okay, and a shirt and shorts unless you want the cops involved. But many in our sport are also geeks and end up pushing ourselves harder and further. We want to know more about the how, why and what's happening to our bodies when we run. We want to adjust and tweak.”</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">While someone just trying out the sport may watch others of us geek out, remember you don't need all the sporty gear and tech to get the job done. You don't have to look good, be color-coordinated and sport all the latest gear. I've said this before and really meant it: running is a form of playing. Just watch kids; they just run. They don’t geek out about gels, don’t wear fancy hydration belts or sport GPS watches and heart rate monitors. Even though it’s fun to geek out with all the latest goodies, we can do just what the kids do, and it’s okay. You, a pair of shoes, and clothing adequate for the climate: that’s all you need, especially if you’re just starting out.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Shoes. You don’t even have to get overly stressed about all the varieties of shoes out there. Find a friend who runs and head to a running store. Tell them you’re starting out, and you want an appropriate pair of shoes to give this running thing a go without breaking the bank. Or, unless you have issues with your feet, hit a major chain sports store or even the shoe section in a department store. Try on a variety of shoes and buy a pair that feels good on your feet and fits well. You probably won’t go wrong with a recognized brand that makes running shoes, but don’t feel like you have to succumb to the marketing machine either. Many of the big brands have a variety of shoes including several models a reasonable price. Just remember, how your new shoes fit is important. How they look is not.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Socks. As a new runner, if you’re going to buy anything else other than shoes, buy yourself a few pairs of running socks. Again, easy to geek out and find all sorts of custom running socks out there, and they all have a place in the sport. Don’t spend the money to buy those just to find out you don’t like the whole running thing. If you don’t already have something that’ll work at home, grab a few pairs of ankle-high athletic socks. They’ll work just fine and keep you from looking like your grandfather when you wear those over-the-calf white, high school athletic socks with your shorts. (I said you don’t have to look good, but you also don’t want to scare folks either. (This is why I don’t run shirtless. I don’t think I look very good without a shirt and I really don’t want to scare small children or cause passing cars to crash at the terrible sight of my pasty bod.)</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Running Clothes. Clothing is easy because new runners run short distances. Somewhere in your stuff is a cheap pair of athletic shorts or sweats and a t-shirt. They’ll work just fine. Go with long sleeves or throw on a wind-breaker if it’s chilly. Don’t worry that all your friends who are veteran runners have those technical shirts that wick water away, keep you warm (or cool), and are rumored to deflect rogue cyclists and cars along with rain and snow. Those shirts are great (and I own a bunch of them!), but I promise you can trot around the block or cover a few miles in those old shorts and tees. Also, if you work your way up to entering and running 5K (3.1 mile) races, find the ones that offer a shirt. They’re usually the technical tees and you’ll quickly end up with a drawer full of them. Bottom line: don’t pay the money to outfit yourself for a marathon when you’re just exploring those early, short distances.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Running Buddies. Finally, find a buddy to encourage your running and not your fashion sense. Related, runners are like anyone else and come in two basic varieties: demanding and encouraging. The demanding ones will want to drag you “up” to their level immediately and make you another version of themselves. They’ll try to drag you along (and probably suck the fun out of the experience). You’ll be equipped to run a marathon before you’ve even decided if you like running a couple miles, and you’ll feel guilty you’re “not dedicated enough, wearing the right gear, or doing more or better. They may be great friends, but they’re probably not the best running buddies. They need to run with someone who is at their level, not with you. You’ll also know a person or two who is happy to work with you to explore the sport just as you are: someone with the heart and mindset of a mentor or coach. They’ll encourage you rather than drag you. They’ll answer your questions and help you along the way. Most importantly, they’ll allow you to become the runner you are, not a carbon copy of themselves. If you’re a social person and already know you’ll be a social runner too, or you’ll need the encouragement, find that encouraging person and team up.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">This advice has grown out of my lifetime of running. I’ve mentioned before that my son will start running with me this Spring, not because I asked him to, but because he asked to run with me. I assure you he won’t look like “Mini Me” when we start down the path. He’ll look a whole lot like a kid who just ran off the playground than he does a little runner in all the technical regalia.</span><br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Now get out there and run like you mean it!</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">It’s great to be a dad!</span></div>
J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861108875908194070.post-21190587223350144192013-02-15T01:29:00.000+01:002013-02-15T01:30:20.660+01:00A Big Week<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">The first week of February was a pretty big week for our household, and I’ll warn you now, there’s a little bit of parental love in here; I’m going to boast a little about my son. This week he turned six, lost his second tooth the morning of his birthday, he tested through the end of the entire list of vocabulary words for the school year, and he won a Citizenship Award for fairness at school.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I’m not sure why having a six year old seems so different than having a five year old. Perhaps it’s more psychological for me as a parent than any actual significance. He’s still a child and I’ll always endeavor to ensure he gets to enjoy being a child at every age, but having a son who is now “grade school age” somehow makes things different. It certainly feels different than when he turned five but it’s a little hard to quantify other than to say he’s a year older. Some of the greatest changes while he was five have been his ability to spell and read. He’s reading at the same level I was when I was in second grade, and unlike today, my classmates and I were reading in first grade. (It saddens me that it seems the current standard in so many states is to have kids reading by third grade. Nevada is one of those states.)</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">And tooth number two fell out on his birthday! He was in the bathroom brushing his teeth and I heard him cheerfully exclaim, “My tooth fell out! Dad! My tooth fell out!” We’ve told him that losing his baby teeth meant he was becoming a big boy, so he sees this as a good thing. When I went in, he proudly showed me. I asked him where his tooth was and he pointed at the drain. I assured him that we didn’t need to see the tooth and that the hole where it had once been spoke volumes about how he was growing and healthy.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Then, two days after his birthday we attended the quarterly assembly at his school. His school is Pre-K through 5th grade and is small enough that they assemble the entire student body during these quarterly gatherings. In addition to the curriculum, each quarter the school focuses the students on a particular civics/citizenship attribute. Last quarter was “fairness” and we were proud to learn that our son won recognition for being the best model of fairness within the kindergarden. We weren’t necessarily surprised based on feedback we’d received from his teacher the year prior at the same school, and even from his kindergarden teacher in Germany two years ago. What made this different was he was formally recognized in front of us and in front of the other students.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Then to wrap up an amazing week, even though the school year is just past half over we learned he successfully tested through the entire year’s list of vocabulary/sight words and he’s rifling through his spelling tests with equal skill! All I can say is we seem to have done something right when we started him down the path of doing his homework in a disciplined way, rewarding him for getting it done, and ensuring we read to him (and he reads to us) nightly.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Related to last week, I think it’s important to point out he’s in a kindergarden with a formal curriculum; with real, nightly homework; and high standards of conduct for the kids. But the school does a fantastic job of teaching the kids at their ages rather than pushing them too hard. In other words, they aren’t pushing the kindergardeners to be first graders, etc. They absolutely expect them to be good kindergardeners in order to be ready for first grade. The kids know what’s expected, are solidly encouraged when they show progress, helped when they struggle, and I think this keeps school fun for them--as fun as school can be anyway. We strive to have the same environment at home and do our best to always be mindful to let our (now) six year old actually be a six year old, to enjoy the things little boys at his age enjoy, and ensure while we’re laying the critical foundation of education, he also gets plenty of time to play and goof off. It isn’t always an easy balance to keep, but so far so good. I’m so proud of my son!</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">It’s great to be a dad!</span></div>
J.P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07384154742622098517noreply@blogger.com2